5/30/2013 08:29:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
5/28/2013 05:21:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan
were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the
loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only
way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door
and jump, at least one of you can survive"
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
5/20/2013 07:55:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
During a visit to the mental asylum, Guy asked the Director what
the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be
institutionalized.
'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'
'Oh, I understand,' said Guy. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or teacup.
'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. (Pause.)
... Guy, do you want a bed near the window?'
'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'
'Oh, I understand,' said Guy. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or teacup.
'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. (Pause.)
... Guy, do you want a bed near the window?'
5/19/2013 12:53:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek aurat ki bade shaher me naukari lag gai,
usne socha 'apne pati ko SMS kar du, taaki unhe chinta na ho'
.
Par
.
Usne
.
Galati se galat no. Par SMS bhej diya
jise ye MSG mila wo apni patni ka antim sanskaar kar ke laut raha thaa,
SMS padh te hi wo behosh ho gaya.
MSG kuch is tarah ka thaa......
.
....'mai sahi salamat pahuch gai hu,
yaha rahene ki b achhi suvidhaa hai,
aap chinta mat karna 1 - 2 din me aap ko bi bula lungi...'
usne socha 'apne pati ko SMS kar du, taaki unhe chinta na ho'
.
Par
.
Usne
.
Galati se galat no. Par SMS bhej diya
jise ye MSG mila wo apni patni ka antim sanskaar kar ke laut raha thaa,
SMS padh te hi wo behosh ho gaya.
MSG kuch is tarah ka thaa......
.
....'mai sahi salamat pahuch gai hu,
yaha rahene ki b achhi suvidhaa hai,
aap chinta mat karna 1 - 2 din me aap ko bi bula lungi...'
5/19/2013 12:43:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to
tell her that he was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
tell her that he was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
5/15/2013 08:45:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy,
“Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy answered, “No ma’am,
they’re dead.”
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