TICKLE 'n' GIGGLE

We should do two things in the morning-

Husband-keep it in his books he never touch them.

Invigilator-Why are you stressed?
 
Did you forget your ID...? your ROLL NO. ...?PEN...?CALCULATOR...?

Student- O chup kar ja main galat subject ke farre le aaya hun......!

achanak ek din lagatar bomb fatne laga.

Ek din ek sardar electronics ki shop mein jaakar poochta hai.
Sardar-ye T.V kitne ka hai.
Shop keeper-hum sardaro ko samaan nahi bechte.

AFTER 1 WEEK......
Sardar ek dum parsi ban ke.

एक ग्रामीण पिता-पुत्र माल में लिफ्ट को निहार रहे थे|तभी एक बुढ़िया लिफ्ट में गई|थोड़ी देर बाद लिफ्ट खुली और एक ख़ूबसूरत जवान लड़की बाहर निकली|पिता यह देखकर चिल्ल्लाते हुए बोला-बेटा,जल्दी घर जा और अपनी माँ को लेकर आ|

इक बंदा:डाक्टर साहिब,मुझे अजीब बिमारी हो गयी है|मेरी बीवी कहती है,मुझे कुछ दिनों से सुनाई नहीं देता|
डाक्टर:यह बिमारी नहीं,इसे भगवान् की नेमत समझो|

गप्पू ने जवाब दित्ता- मीनू  ते  पता   नहीं, मेरा वियाह ते छोटी उम्र विच ही होगा सी..

A man was visiting the cemetery and while laying flowers on his friend's grave,saw another person placing a packet of sweets on a grave.He blurted out:"When do you think your friend is going to eat that?"The other man looked up and replied:"About the same time your friend comes out to smell the flowers."

Which is the oldest animal on earth?

ZEBRA because it has black and white stripes.

Anu:"which is the room,we cannot live in?"

Sam:"It's mushroom."

Jimmy:"Grandpa,do you know what great war broke out in 1939?"
Grandpa:"Why,that was the year I married your grandmother?"

Max the little CAMEL walks into his parents' room at 3 am and asks for a glass of water."Another one?"says his father."That's the second glass of this month."

Two unemployed friends were talking.
First friend;"A thief entered my house last night."
Second friend;"oh my God,what did he get?"
First friend;"practice."

A local newspaper mistakenly reported the death of a renowned politician.The politician was furious and threatened to sue the newspaper.The next day,an apology appeared on the front page;"We regret that our report published in yesterday's newspaper stating that Mr.Raj Nitik had died,is not true."

Teacher:"Rina, what is your favourite flower?"

Rina:"Chrysanthemums."

Teacher: "Spell it."

Rina: " Actually ,come to think of it, I like roses better!"

Judge:"Why did you steal the car?"

Prisoner:"I had a perfectly good reason,your honour.The car was parked near the cemetery,so I thought the owner was dead."

A man goes to a doctor complaining about stomach problems.The doctor asks him what he's been eating."I only eat pool balls,"he says."Red ones for breakfast,yellow and orange ones for lunch,blue for afternoon snacks,and purple and black for dinner."
"I see the problem,"says the doctor."You're not getting enough greens."

Band clinic ke aage lambi line thi, ek banda bar-bar line me ghusta,

par log usko pakad ke piche phek dete

BANDA-lage raho beta clinic hi nai kholunga

John and Tom apply for the same job.they take a written test,and got the same number of questions wrong.Tom gets the job,because he wrote "I don't know" for one of the incorrect answers,and John writes "Me either"for the same.

What is business?
SON:I want to marry a girl of my choice.
DAD:No.
SON:Girl is Bill Gates daughter.
DAD:Then o.k .

Dad goes to Bill Gates.
I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates:No.
Dad: My son is the CEO of the WORLD BANK .
Bill Gates: Then o.k .
Dad goes to the President of the WORLD BANK .
Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of your BANK .
President:No!
Dad:He is the son-in-law of BILL GATES.
President:Then o.k .
This is called BUSINESS.

Kantilal was an avid stock market investor.His wife was worried about her husband's dis interest in her,so she took him to a baba camped near their home.
"Swamiji,"said she,"my husband talks only about FIIs,PEs,earnings per share,dividend,bonus.........
"Don't worry",said the Swami,"I'll check his futures and options."