7/31/2012 09:51:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
There were these two elderly people living in a Florida old age home. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years.
Now, one evening, there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?”
After some ‘careful consideration,’ she answered, “Yes, I will.”
tabledinner.jpg
The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective rooms.

Next morning, he was troubled. “Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?” He couldn’t remember.
Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. When he tried to see her, he found that she had gone to visit her daughter.
love_you.jpg
With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that his memory was not as good as it used to be. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?”
He was delighted to hear her say, “Why, I said, ‘Yes, I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.”
Then she continued, “And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn’t remember who had asked me that night.”

7/31/2012 09:44:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Insurance form question and answer about a recent accident:

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: I could have traveled by bus.

A man collided with a cow and completed the requested form as follows:

Q: What warning did you give the other party before the collision? A: Horn

Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo

7/31/2012 09:39:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other. "I'll ask him."

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the boss said. "What do you mean, ‘intelligence'?"

The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That's intelligence!"

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What's intelligence?" said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."

7/31/2012 12:07:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »


A letter has been sent from a husband :
Dear Sweetheart :
Reading letter
I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart, your husband.
Your Loving Husband.
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:

Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items.
5. Other expenses 40 kisses.
kiss
Please don’t worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope that I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, please advise.
Your Sweet Heart.

7/31/2012 11:59:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Banta Singh and Santa Singh got tired with the mobile communication.
mobilephone.png
They decide to use the conventional method of communication.
That is to use pigeons to send messages. One day Santa sends his pigeon.
When the pigeon reached Banta, it was with out any message.

pigewon.jpg
Angrily, Banta picks up his mobile and calls and asks Santa “what is this – a joke?
The pigeon is without any message.”
Guess what Santa said???
- – - -
- – - -
“Are Gadheyyyyyyyy !!!! , woh to sirf miss call tha !

7/30/2012 10:35:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Jack was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. The preacher grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
secret.jpg
Jack replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”
Jack whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”

7/27/2012 04:34:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Judge: Order! Order!
Sardar: Ek full chicken masala, 4 paratha, 1 kabab aur 1 coffee.
judge.jpg

Judge:
Shut up!
Sardar: Shut up nahi 7 up.

7/27/2012 04:31:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear!
funnylove.jpg
Girl: Would you die for me ?
Boy: No, mine is Undying Love!

7/27/2012 04:30:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : “HIJKLMNO” !!
teachvsstd.jpg
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it’s H to O !

7/27/2012 04:28:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
santa dials a number and a girl named ‘SITA’ receives phone.
Telephone
Santa says, “maine to delhi phone lagaya tha, ye ayodhya kaise lag gaya.”

7/20/2012 12:10:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.
"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?"

7/20/2012 12:07:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
संता एक बार अपने ऑटो से एक पहिया निकालने में जुटा हुआ था कि तभी बंता वहां आ जाता है और संता से सवाल करता है!

बंता: "अरें संता ये ऑटो का टायर क्यों निकाल रहे हो?"

यह सुन संता जवाब देता है, "तुम्हे दिखाई नहीं देता क्या वहां बोर्ड में क्‍या लिखा है? पार्किंग केवल दोपहिया वाहनों के लिए है!"

7/12/2012 05:17:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Baap ne poocha : Beta Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Beta : Chand Jaisi.
bride
Baap : Itni Khubsurat?
Beta : Nahi papa, aisi jo raat ko aaye aur subah hote hi chali jaye.

7/12/2012 05:13:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Biwi: “Aap ne pichle saal meri birthday pe mujhe lohay ka bed banwa ke diya tha, Iss dafa aapka kya iraada hai?”
electrcbed.jpg
Shohar: “Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.”

7/12/2012 05:11:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Santa: Kaam wali shanti ko bulao.!
patients.jpg
Wife: Kyun?
Santa: Doctor ne kaha hai, raat mein dawa khane ke baad shanti ke saath so jaana.

7/12/2012 05:09:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Girl of 1960 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aja moray balma tera intezar hai.
girl
Girl of 2007 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra tayyar hai. :)

7/08/2012 12:42:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Kung-Fu Fighting…


Don’t even try to mess with me…
Kung Fu Fighting

7/08/2012 12:39:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Beta Maa se: Maa, aaj maine bahut punya ka kam kiya.
Maa: Kya kiya Beta?
mostherson.jpg
Beta: Maine aaj ek andhi aurat ko road paar karaya.
Maa: Waah! Magar tumhe koi dikkat toh nahi hui.
Beta: Bahut dikkat hui maa. Woh aurat road hi nahi paar karna chah rahi thi!

7/08/2012 12:32:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Drinking Coca cola

7/08/2012 12:31:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Once a husband and wife were preparing to go office and the wife thought she would drive today for the office.
Wife : Chalo na car me kahin ghumne chalte hai, aur car me drive karungi!
driving.jpg
Huband : “Agar tum car drive karogi to jayenge car mein, aayenge akhbaar mein”!!

7/03/2012 08:02:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ''Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, ''Nope.'' As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, he yelled, ''I thought you said your dog didn't bite!'' The old man muttered, ''Ain't my dog.''

7/01/2012 08:29:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Man 1: After buying this new hearing aid, I am able to hear something two blocks away.
Man 2: Cool, how much did it cost?
Man 1: The time is three past ten.
The well behaved son
Lady 1: My son is very well behaved.
Lady 2: How can you say that? Wasn't he arrested and imprisoned for 5 years.
Lady 1: Yes, but he got out after 2 years for good behavior inside the jail.
Funny Patients and Doctors
Doctor to a rich man: Do you prefer a local anesthesia?
Rich man: I would rather prefer an imported one.


A woman went to the Doctor and said "When I looked in the mirror this morning, I saw my hair was frizzy, my skin wrinkly, my eyes bloodshot – what is wrong with me?".

The Doctor replied "Well the good news is that your eyesight is fine".
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