6/30/2010 10:21:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A Drunk man points towards sky and asks another drunk: Is it sun or moon?
Second Drunk: I can't say what it is, because I am also new in the town.
6/30/2010 10:19:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
An Indian Sardar ji & a Pakistani were in Titanic. Titanic was sinking.
Pakistani: How much the earth is far from here?
Indian Sardar Ji: 2 kilo meter.
The Pakistani jumped into the sea and asked again: ...to which direction?
Indian Sardar Ji: Downwards.
6/30/2010 10:14:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A Haryanvi bought a car on loan from a bank. He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Funny Haryanvi: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
6/30/2010 10:12:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
School Teacher: What is common between Buddha, Jesus, Mahavir and Guru Nanak Dev Ji?
Student: All of them were born on Indian centre govt holidays!
6/30/2010 10:11:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
| Santa was weeping at a grave, "Why did you die? Why did you die? Your death ruined my life." Banta: For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? Wife? or Girlfriend ? Santa: My wife’s first husband. |
6/30/2010 10:10:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher to Student: Kid, your essay on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy from him?
Student: No, teacher, it's about the same dog!
6/30/2010 10:09:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A French husband was returning home after cremating his wife.
He sees heavy lightning and thunderstorm in the sky.
Husband thinks: She must have reached there.
6/30/2010 10:09:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
In New Delhi, Blue-line buses are notorious for killing people in accidents.
Today a Blue-line bus driver saved
2 lives.
2 lives.
Howz that possible?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.He did not go to job today.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.He did not go to job today.
6/30/2010 10:08:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Sardar Ji: Why have you increased speed of car?
Laloo: Break has failed. We should reach home before accident.
6/30/2010 10:06:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A Funny man & his wife go to a coffee house. Funny man buys 2 cups of coffee.
Funny Man: Drink quickly... drink quickly... before it gets cold.
Wife: But why...
Funny Man: They charge Rs. 50 for hot coffee and Rs 100 for cold coffee.
6/30/2010 10:06:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Museum Watchman: That's a 500 year old statue you have broken.
Funny Sharma: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
6/30/2010 10:05:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?
Employee: (looking down) No Sir...
Boss: Don't look down. Look at me.
6/30/2010 10:03:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ram & Shyam got tired using mobile cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send sweet messages. And this hilarious scheme worked very fine.
One day Ram sends his pigeon.
Shyam sees, the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any sweet message.
Ram: Oye khotey, that was a missed call.
6/30/2010 10:01:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Judge asks a little Kid: Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?
Kid: No, my mummy beats me.
Judge: Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
Kid: No, my daddy beats me too.
Judge: Well then, who do you want to live with?
Kid: I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!!
6/30/2010 10:00:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A man asks Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful? Priest: So that you will love them. Santa thinks for a short time... Santa: But why did God make them so dumb? Priest: So that they will love you. |
6/30/2010 09:59:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A Very Funny beautiful girl was a college student.
Once Very Funny Girl comes late to class.
Teacher: Why are you late?
Very Funny Girl : One boy was following me, sir.
Teacher: So, What?
Very Funny Girl : That boy was walking very slow.
6/30/2010 09:58:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
ndian Prime Minister: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
US President: Wow! How many?
Indian Prime Minister: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut.
6/30/2010 09:56:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
My sweet girlfriend had habit of biting her fingernails. She started doing YOGA to treat the problem. Soon her finger-nails started growing normally.
Seeing this, I asked if yoga had totally cured her problem.
"No," she replied with a funny sweet smile, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."
6/30/2010 09:55:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, An Amazing Funny Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.
6/30/2010 09:51:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl.
Pundit started giving an apple to the girl everyday.
Sardar Doctor asked: WHY ??
Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
6/30/2010 03:26:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Son-Papa agar aapko pta chale ki mai 1st division pas hua to aapko kaisa lagega?
Papa-Mai to khushi se pagal ho jaounga.
Son-Bas isi darr ki vajah se mai fail ho jata hu.
Papa-Mai to khushi se pagal ho jaounga.
Son-Bas isi darr ki vajah se mai fail ho jata hu.
6/28/2010 10:50:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Why is the Maths Book always unhappy?
Because,it has so many problems.
6/25/2010 02:05:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
doctor to Husband:Tuhadi biwi te tuhada blood group same hai.
Husband:Hovega kyon nhi ,25 -ssal to mera khoon pee rhi hai.
Husband:Hovega kyon nhi ,25 -ssal to mera khoon pee rhi hai.
6/25/2010 02:02:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Why do dogs don't marry?
Because they are already leading a dog's life.
Because they are already leading a dog's life.
6/23/2010 12:31:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher-"Why haven't you done your home-work?"
Student-"Because I live in the hostel,not home."
6/23/2010 12:26:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
लड़का-"तुम्हारे बारहवीं में कितने percent आये थे?"
लड़की-"99 percent."
लड़का-"बाप रे,इतने में तो तीन लड़के पास हो जाते|
6/22/2010 01:21:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher-"What is the formula of Water?"
Student-"HIJKLMNO."
Teacher-"What is this?"
Student-"Yesterday,you only told us that the formula of water is H to O."
Student-"HIJKLMNO."
Teacher-"What is this?"
Student-"Yesterday,you only told us that the formula of water is H to O."
6/21/2010 12:52:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
नेता-"डाक्टर,आप मेरी रिपोर्ट मुझे मेरी भाषा में समझाएं|"
डाक्टर-"आपकी रिपोर्ट यह हवाला दे रही है,आपका blood-pressure आपके घोटालों की तरह बढ रहा है,फेफड़े झूठे वादे करने लगे हैं,और आपका हार्ट त्यागपत्र देने वाला है|"
डाक्टर-"आपकी रिपोर्ट यह हवाला दे रही है,आपका blood-pressure आपके घोटालों की तरह बढ रहा है,फेफड़े झूठे वादे करने लगे हैं,और आपका हार्ट त्यागपत्र देने वाला है|"
6/21/2010 12:45:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Love v\s Exam
Love-Lots of thoughts in the mind,But no guts to express.
Exams-Dying to express,but no thoughts in the mind.
6/21/2010 12:42:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
मरीज़-"डाक्टर,आपने नर्स बहुत अच्छी रखी है,उसका हाथ लगते ही मैं ठीक हो गया|"
डाक्टर-"जानता हूँ,थप्पड़ की आवाज़ मुझे भी सुनाई दी थी|"
6/21/2010 12:32:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
अमीर आदमी-"मेरे पास दस बंगले,बीस कारें,और एक private जेट है|तुम्हारे पास क्या है?"
गरीब आदमी-"इनमे से कुछ भी नहीं|लेकिन मेरे पास एक बेटा है,जिससे तुम्हारी इकलौती बेटी को प्यार हो गया है|"
6/19/2010 01:57:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Train mein ek aadmi ke 50 Rs kho gye,itni der dhoondne ke baad bhi nhi mile.
Samne baitha muslim aadmi bola ya allah bismillaah
Aadmi bola 20 tujhe mile toh baaki ke 30 kahan gye.
Samne baitha muslim aadmi bola ya allah bismillaah
Aadmi bola 20 tujhe mile toh baaki ke 30 kahan gye.
6/18/2010 05:18:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A baby fish asked her mother why can we live on earth .
Mother fish replied,"Earth is not for fish .It is made for SELFISH."
6/18/2010 05:09:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
एकाउन्ट्स की क्लास में अध्यापक ने पूछा -"ऋणी कौन होता है ?"
छात्र -"जिसने कर्ज लिया होता है |"
अध्यापक -"और लेनदार कौन दर होता है ?"
छात्र -"जिसे यह ग़लतफहमी होती है की उसकी रकम उसे वापस मिल जाएगी |"
6/18/2010 12:20:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Police man to Son-Itne kam MARKS.
Aaj se tera T.V dekhna band ,Bahar jaana aur ghumna khelna band .
Son-Papa,Ye lo 50 Rs aur yahi mamla khatam karo.
Aaj se tera T.V dekhna band ,Bahar jaana aur ghumna khelna band .
Son-Papa,Ye lo 50 Rs aur yahi mamla khatam karo.
6/18/2010 12:13:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek aadmi JALEBI bech rha tha.
Magar keh rha tha-"AALU le lo AALU "
To ek bachcha us aadmi ke paas jakar bola -"yeh JALEBI hai.
Aadmi-Chup ho ja pagal varna MAKKHIYAN aa jayengi.
Magar keh rha tha-"AALU le lo AALU "
To ek bachcha us aadmi ke paas jakar bola -"yeh JALEBI hai.
Aadmi-Chup ho ja pagal varna MAKKHIYAN aa jayengi.
6/17/2010 09:53:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
एक टैक्सी-वाला बहुत तेज़ टैक्सी चला रहा था|पैसेंजेर घबरा कर बोला-"मेरे घर में दस बच्चे है,धीरे चलाओ,कुछ उनका ही ख्याल करो|"टैक्सी-वाला झट से बोला-"साहब बच्चे आपके हैं,तो मैं उनका ख़याल क्यों रखूँ?"
6/16/2010 12:12:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
John-"Tony,I want to donate my brain after my death."
Tony-"Don't worry,your wish will be fulfilled,if the doctors find it there in your head."
6/16/2010 12:10:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Shyam -Oye Ram, maine tujhe letter likha tha ,fir bhi tu shadi me kyun nhi aaya?
Ram-Mujhe to letter mila hi nhi .
Shyam- To maine likha to tha ki letter mile ya na mile ,aana zarur.
Ram-Mujhe to letter mila hi nhi .
Shyam- To maine likha to tha ki letter mile ya na mile ,aana zarur.
6/13/2010 10:52:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
पति-रात को देर से घर आने पर,अपनी पत्नी से बोला-"ज़रा एक गिलास पानी देना|"
पत्नी जब पानी लेकर आई,तो इतने में पति सो गया|वह सारी रात पानी हाथ में लिए वहां खड़ी रही|
सवेरे जब पति की नींद खुली तो बीवी को देखकर वह बोला,"क्या चाहिए?"
पत्नी बोली"तलाक"|
6/12/2010 09:57:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Thousand words of a teacher does not hurt.......
But the silence of a friend.........
In the examination hall ......
Brings tears to the eyes....
6/11/2010 04:20:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A man and his dog go to a movie .
During the funny scenes , the dog laughs . When there's sad part ,the dog cries.
This goes on for the entire film :laughing and crying in all the right places .
After the show , the man sitting behind them says, "That was amazing !"
"It sure was,"the dog owner
replies. "He hated the book."
6/11/2010 04:15:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek aadmi pehli baar plane mein baitha .
Plane runway par chal rha tha,
tabhi us aadmi ne pilot ko thappad mara aur bola
ABBE GADHE , itni der ho rhi hai aur tu by road le ja rha hai..
6/11/2010 04:11:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Just as a boy enters his shop , the barber tells his customer ,"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch."The barber puts a Rs.5 coin in one open palm and Rs.2 coin in other and asks the kid ,"Which do you want ?" The boy takes the Rs.2 coin and leaves.
"See?" says the barber , laughing .
Later, the customer sees the boy at a candy store ."Why'd you not take the five rupees ?"
He asks.
"Because the day I do that the game's over."
6/10/2010 12:00:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
एक भिखारी की लौटरी लग गई|उसने उन पैसों का मंदिर बनवा डाला|किसी ने पूछा-"इतने पैसे मिले,तुमने मंदिर ही क्यों बनवाया?
भिखारी ने जवाब दिया-"इस मंदिर के सामने मैं अकेले ही भीख मांगूंगा|"
6/08/2010 10:03:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
I failed in some subjects but my friends passed in all........................
Theyre all engineers in Microsoft
and "IM THE OWNER"
Bill Gates
6/07/2010 08:45:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Professor to the Principal-"Sir,why have you called the plumber?"
Principal-"To check the leakage of papers."
6/06/2010 11:39:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
"यार पप्पू,तू इतनी टेंशन में क्यों है?"
"क्या बताऊँ यार,मैंने एक दोस्त को प्लास्टिक सर्जरी के लिए दो लाख रूपये दिए थे,अब उसको पहचान नहीं पा रहा हूँ|"
6/06/2010 07:18:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
LAZY BOY-Mummy ek glass pani de do.
MUMMY-Khud uthke peelo.
BOY-Please de do na.
MUMMY-Ab manga to thappad marungi.
BOY-Thappad marne aao to pani leti aana.
MUMMY-Khud uthke peelo.
BOY-Please de do na.
MUMMY-Ab manga to thappad marungi.
BOY-Thappad marne aao to pani leti aana.
6/06/2010 11:19:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Life was much simpler when,"APPLE"and "BLACKBERRY"were just fruits.
6/05/2010 11:25:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
लाइफ इंश्योरेंस सेल्समैन की बातें-
पाकिस्तानी-किसी के मरने पर हम क्लेम का चेक चौबीस घंटे में दे देतें हैं|
इंडियन-हम उसी शाम दे देतें हैं|
अमरीकन-हमारा आफिस २०वि मंजिल पर है|एक आदमी ५०वि फ्लोर से गिर गया|जैसे ही वह हमारी फ्लोर तक पहुंचा ,हमने उसका चेक पकड़ा दिया|
6/05/2010 11:15:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
रावी:आज मुझे एक मेसेज आया और उसके बाद मेरा फ़ोन बंद हो गया|
सीमा:ऐसा कौन सा मेसेज था?
रावी:बैट्री लो|
6/04/2010 04:23:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
एक बच्चे का लंच उसका मास्टर खा गया|
मास्टर:"घर में जाकर मम्मी को मेरा नाम मत बताना|"
बच्चा:"ठीक है,अगर मम्मी पूछेगी,तो मैं कह दूंगा,बन्दर मेरा लंच खा गया|"
6/03/2010 05:30:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
The lady painting a picture in the middle of a field asked the farmer :
"I hope I'm not disturbing you?"
The farmer :
6/03/2010 03:03:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Doctor-Ab kya hal hai?
Patient-Pehle se jyaada kharab hai.
Doctor-Dawai khali thi kya ?
Patient-Dawai ki sheeshi to bhari hui thi.
Doctor-I mean dawai leli thi kya?
Patient-Apne dawai di to maine leli.
Doctor-Bevkuf dawai peeli thi ?
Patient-Nhi ,dawai To laal thi .
Doctor-Are pagal dawai ko peelia tha?
Patient-Nhi ji peelia to mujhe tha.
6/01/2010 06:05:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek sardar car me battery lagwane gya .
Mechanic ne puchcha saab 'EXIDE' ki battery laga du kya?
6/01/2010 02:51:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek din history teacher aur maths teacher ki ladai ho gayi.......
History teacher-main abhi tak ke saare rajaao aur unki senaao ko le aaunga.
6/01/2010 08:57:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek husband aur wife ka bahut jhagra hota hai.Wife rot-rote haath jodkar bhagwaan se kahti hai;"Hey ,prabhu, agar mere pati galat hain to,unhe utha le,agar main galat hoon,to mujhe widhwa bana de".
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