10/31/2010 12:02:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A. It let out a little wine!
10/31/2010 12:01:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In snow banks.
10/31/2010 12:00:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?
A. They take the psycho path.
10/31/2010 11:59:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
10/31/2010 11:59:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Is that you mommy?"
10/31/2010 11:58:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
10/28/2010 05:19:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Master-Do me se do gaye toh kitne bache?
Sardar-Samajh nhi aaya masterji.
Master-Beta tumhare paas 2 roti hai , tumne do roti khali , tumhare paas kya bacha ?
Sardar- sabji .
10/21/2010 04:46:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Passenger-conductor,does this bus run on time?
Conductor-no,this bus runs on wheels.
10/19/2010 05:59:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Mary-Honey,what a lovely kid you are?Do you go to school?
Kid-No,I am sent to school.
10/10/2010 09:18:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
History Teacher-Mughals ruled India,from when to when?
Anil-From page 33 to page36 in our history book,Sir.
10/07/2010 04:50:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... nothing more
Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres
and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it through courier.
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Sorry, Non living things can't communicate.
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
Q. What is the difference between Process and Threads?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
Q. What is JINI?
A. A ghost, which was Aladdin's friend.
Q. How will you call an Applet from a ___Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.
10/07/2010 04:47:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Letter to Mr.Bill Gates from Banta singh
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have
bought a computer for
our home and we found problems, which I want to bring
to your notice.
After connecting to internet we
planned to open e-mail
account and whenever
we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column,
only ****** appears,
but
in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears,
but we face this
problem only in password field. We checked with
hardware vendor Santa Singh
and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open
the e-mail account with password *****. I request you
to check this as we
ourselves do not know what the password is.
We are unable to enter anything after we click the
shut down button.
There is a button 'start' but there is no stop button.
We request you to
check this.
We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend
clicked 'run' has ran
upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to
sit so that we can
click
that by sitting.
One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in
system? As I find only
're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
Also there is 'Find' button but it is not working
properly. My wife lost
the
door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with
this 'find', but
unable
to trace. Is it a bug??
Thanks,
Banta Singh
Punjab
10/07/2010 04:45:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Banta Singh and Santa Singh got tired with the mobile communication
and decided to use the conventional method of communication.
That is to use pigeons to send messages. One day Santa sends his pigeon.
When the pigeon reached Banta, it was with out any message.
and decided to use the conventional method of communication.
That is to use pigeons to send messages. One day Santa sends his pigeon.
When the pigeon reached Banta, it was with out any message.
Angrily, Banta
picks up his mobile and calls and asks Santa "what is this - a joke?
The pigeon is without any message."
Guess what Santa said???
picks up his mobile and calls and asks Santa "what is this - a joke?
The pigeon is without any message."
Guess what Santa said???
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Donkey, that was a missed call!
10/07/2010 04:44:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Santa and Banta had just bought two horses.Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses.So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.While doing so,an enemy of Santa looks at him.This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta.
By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate. So, next thing santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear , then his tail , then makes him blind and so on .And the enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse.At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only .The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to diffrenciate thier horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white .
By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate. So, next thing santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear , then his tail , then makes him blind and so on .And the enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse.At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only .The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to diffrenciate thier horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white .
10/07/2010 04:42:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a
bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a
bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
10/07/2010 04:40:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's Place in a Brand New - Red Ferarri.
Banta: Wow Banta, ke gaddi hai (What a car)Kithon laiye (where did you get it from)
Santa:Main highway te lift mung reha se ... Gori Mem aaee te meine kende "want a ride Mr. Singh" I hopped in,
and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. take anything"
Banta is quite excited and asks "tu ke keeta Santa "
Santa: Mian gaddi lai layee. (I took the car)
Banta: Changa keeta kapde tenu fit bhi nahi aane se (good showyou wouldn't have fit into her clothes)
Banta: Wow Banta, ke gaddi hai (What a car)Kithon laiye (where did you get it from)
Santa:Main highway te lift mung reha se ... Gori Mem aaee te meine kende "want a ride Mr. Singh" I hopped in,
and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. take anything"
Banta is quite excited and asks "tu ke keeta Santa "
Santa: Mian gaddi lai layee. (I took the car)
Banta: Changa keeta kapde tenu fit bhi nahi aane se (good showyou wouldn't have fit into her clothes)
10/07/2010 04:38:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Santa enters a store that sell curtains.
He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Santa replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"
Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Santa replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"
Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
10/07/2010 04:31:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek aadmi aacountant ban jata hai .veh pen ke saath kainchi(scissor)bhi rakh leta hai .Toh uski patni pucchti hai kainchi(scissor) kyun leke ja rhe ho.
Aadmi : Agar wha CHEQUE kaatne ki zarurat padegi to kaise katunga.
10/07/2010 04:26:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A Lady : Is this bus running on time.
Conductor : No Ma'am , it is running on wheels.
10/07/2010 04:25:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher : You aren't paying attention to me.Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil : No , teacher ,actually I'm having trouble listening .
10/07/2010 04:20:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Son : Father , we will become rich person very soon .
Father : How , son ?
Son : My maths teacher taught us how to convert paise into rupees.
10/06/2010 10:02:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
संता और बंता,बम्बई घूमने गए|
संता-बता,यहाँ से दिल्ली ज्यादा दूर है या चाँद?
बंता-दिल्ली|
संता-कैसे?
बंता-हम यहाँ से चाँद दिखाई दे रहा है,पर दिल्ली नहीं|
10/05/2010 04:50:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Ans:Because below 18 was not allowed.
Ans:Because below 18 was not allowed.
10/05/2010 04:45:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
American- We have invented the cell phone.
Chinese- We have invented SMS.
Korean- We have invented the bluetooth.
Indian- We have invented missed call.
10/04/2010 03:31:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
One uneducated woman goes to the bank.
The clerk asks her to sign the cheque,
She asks him how to do it.The clerk tells her,
exactly to write she writes to her husband in the letter.
The woman immediatly writes-tumhaare munne ki amma.
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