12/30/2011 08:56:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
garmi ka din tha aur ek machchar bahut pareshaani se baitha tha...thabhi ek saathi machchar wahaan aaya aur poocha... " kyu bhai tum itne pareshaan kyu ho"

pahale machar ne jawaab dia...." dekh yaar kamaal ho raha hai....choohe daani mai chooha.... saabun daani mai saabun aur machchar daani mai aadmi so raha hai...."

12/29/2011 10:41:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.

He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"

"Yes", said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "What's your name?"

"Clarence," said the bird.

"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"

The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."

12/29/2011 10:36:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
How does one astronaut tell another astronaut that he is sorry?

He Apollo-gises.

12/29/2011 10:32:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
My boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful
Well they do say that love is blind !

12/29/2011 02:59:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal

12/27/2011 08:40:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A man was sleeping on his deathbed. The man woke up to see his wife silently praying beside him.
He said, " Martha, I have something to confess to you."
She said, "No dear, save your energy."
He said, "I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven, I cheated on you."
She said, " I know, I poisoned you."

12/26/2011 05:59:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
What did one lab rat say to the other?

I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack.

12/23/2011 08:32:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Rakhi Sawant Railway me Bina
ticket paai gayi...
TC- Ticket?
Rakhi- Mera chehra hi mera ticket
hai....
TC- Fine bharna padega...
Rakhi- Wo kyun?
TC- 1st Class me 3rd class ka ticket
le kar baithi ho na isliye...

12/23/2011 08:18:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »

Dost ki Kabar

Ek aadmi apne dost ki kabar par phool daal raha hota hai.
Aur samne wale kabar mein bhi, ek aadmi apne dost ki kabar par chawal daal raha hota hai.
graveyard
Pehla aadmi doosre se kehta hai, “Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab uthega?”

Doosra aadmi , “Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga.”

12/19/2011 09:09:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.'

'Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed!'
Rate this Religious Joke :

12/17/2011 10:25:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
There were two brothers at aged 12 & 8. They were so naughty and always people comes with complain to their parents. Parents became very fed-up and they have taken them to the mental doctor.
Doctor firstly call 12 years boy and asked him “Tell me where is god?” The boy keep himsilence. Then doctor again with loud voice asked him “Tell me where is God?”.
brothers.jpg
The boy suddenly ran away and went to his home and hide himself in his cloth cupboard.
When another brother saw that he also ran away after him and reached to the home and asked “Brother what doctor asked you and why you ran away?”
The elder brother said, “God is missing and everybody thinking that we did it”
Submitted by: Shafeen Mahmood

12/17/2011 08:39:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Little Radha was practicing the violin in the living room while her father was trying to read in the newspapper.
Violin
The family dog was lying and as the screeching sounds of little Radha’s violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.
The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, “For pity’s sake, can’t you play something the dog doesn’t know?”

12/15/2011 08:20:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
भिखारी: 1 रुपया दे दो, 3 दिन से भूखा हूँ!
संता: 3 दिन से भूखा है तो 1 रुपये का क्या करेगा?
भिखारी: वजन तोलूँगा, कितना घट गया है!

12/09/2011 07:43:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. A man walks into an elevator  presses floor number 1 and goes to work. He comes home from work gets into the elevator and presses number 7. He then walks out of the elevator, and walks up to the 15th floor.Why’d he walk?
A. He’s a midget.

12/08/2011 01:27:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
An eight-year-old boy went into a grocery store and picked out a large box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog," said the grocer. "It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him." But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it. A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer said he was sorry, but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog." "Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him." "Oh? What was it then?" "I think it was the spin cycle!"

12/07/2011 08:02:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Laloo and his wife Rabri were angry with each other and were not talking to each other.
Laloo left a note on Rabri's bedside table, that said: "Dear Wife! Awake me at 5 am tomorrow."
Next morning, Laloo awoke at 8 am and saw a note on his bedside table: "Dear Husband It's 5 O' Clock, get up.

12/05/2011 07:59:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
It was about a month ago when a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest:

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic."

"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."

"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Gulden for every week he stayed."

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."

"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."

"What is that, my son?"

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

12/05/2011 07:57:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?" The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."
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12/02/2011 07:44:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
  A man goes on a 2 month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother.

Brother 1: So how is my cat doing?
Brother 2: He's Dead
Brother 1: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat couldn't you think of a nicer way to tell me! I'm leaving in 3 days you could of broke me the news easier. When I called before I left, you could of told me we found him on the roof and we're having trouble getting him down. Then when I called you from the airport you could of told me the Fire Department was there and scared him off the roof and the cat died when it hit the ground.
Brother 2: I'm sorry ... you're right...that was insensitive I won't let it happen again.
Brother 1: Alright .. Alright, forget about it. Anyway, how's Mom doing?
Brother 2: She's on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down.

12/01/2011 07:33:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Two bone weary public servants were working their little hearts and souls out. Their department was just too busy for staff to be able take flex. But there had to be a way ...

One of the two public servants suddenly lifted his head. "I know how to get some time off work" the man whispered.

"How?" asked the second worker.

Instead of answering, the man quickly looked around. No sign of his Director. He jumped up on his desk, kicked out a couple of ceiling tiles and hoisted himself up. "Look!" he hissed, then swinging his legs over a metal pipe, hung upside down.

Within seconds, the Director emerged from the Branch Head's office at the far end of the floor. He saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he thought he was doing.

"I'm a light bulb" answered the public servant.

"I think you need some time off," barked the Director. "Get out of here - that's an order - and I don't want to see you back here for at least another two days! You understand me?"

"Yes sir", the public servant answered meekly, then jumped down, logged off his computer and left.

The second worker was hot on his heels.

"Where do you think you're going?" the boss asked.

"Home," he said lightly. "I can't work in the dark."
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