TICKLE 'n' GIGGLE

An infant rabbit was orphaned. Fortunately though, a family of squirrels took it in and raised it as if it were one of their own. This led to some strange behaviors on the part of the rabbit, including a tendency for it to avoid jumping, but instead to run around like the other squirrels. One day the rabbit was really feeling sad, so it went to its step-parents to discuss the problem. After explaining to them how it felt different from its step-siblings, they gave him a big hug and said, “Don’t scurry, be hoppy.”

 A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was saying to his lawyer, "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined." "It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer. "Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?" asked the defendant. "Oh no!" said the lawyer. "This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even find you in contempt of the court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge." Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked." "I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them," said the lawyer. "But I did send them," said the defendant. "What?? You did?" "Yes, That's how we won the case." "I don't understand," said the lawyer. "It's easy. I sent the cheapest cigars that I could find to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card..." By Bill K.

 Q: What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday? A: Forget it once! Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? A: They were all born on holidays.

What kind of apple isn't an apple?A pineapple.

Fruit : Apple jokes Top
What reads and lives in an apple ?A bookworm !

Fruit : Apple jokes Top
What kind of apple has a short temper?A crab apple.

Fruit : Apple jokes Top
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.

Fruit : Apple jokes Top
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !

Fruit : Apple jokes Top
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
'Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am,' he said politely, ' but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread!'
'That's right.'
'Every day you wallop him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were hitting him with a chocolate cake....?'
'Well, today is his birthday!'

The lovely love Theorem - To Love some 1 is madness,2b loved by someone is a Gift,loving some1 who loves u is a duty,but being loved by some1 whom u luv is LIFE.

jaadu ki jhappi ......    

“George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?”

One Student: “Because George still had the axe in is hand.”

A fat lady is lying on the beach. 
A lifeguard approaches her
And says, "Excuse me ma'am, could
you please leave the beach?"
The obese lady replies, "Why? 
What's wrong?"
"We'll you see," says the lifeguard,
"It's getting pretty
Late, and the tide wants to come 
in!" 

Wife: I Have Changed My Mind.
Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?

Once a great scientist invents a machine and claims that it can tell everything about everybody, when asked. Nobody believes him. So,he holds a press conference, where anybody can ask any question from the machine.
In the press conference, many people ask the machine different questions and the machine answers them correctly. The news spreads like a wild fire and finally reaches the ears of President of U.S.A. He calls the scientist to Pentagon and asks him to bring his machine with his machine. All the officials of Pentagon are present in the meeting to ask questions from the machine.It answers all of them correctly.
Finally,the President asks one question "What is my father doing at present?". The machine falls silent for few minutes and after that, answers "Your father is fishing in Arabian Sea.".The President starts laughing and after five minutes,when he stops laughing,says "Your machine is of no use scientist. It was a trick question. My father died 4 years ago.".
The scientist apologizes and asks President to reframe the question so that the machine could understand the question better. So the President asks "What is my mother's husband doing at present?". After some time, the machine replies "Your mother's husband died 4 years ago but your father is still fishing in Arabian Sea".

The patient says, "Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea."
The doctor says, "Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."
mug = cup

---

The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
The doctor says, "Next, please."

Mr Mahen Lal grew up in America. At the age of 24 he decided to get married but he wanted a sati savitri type of girl who will cook and clean, take care of his family (typical girl).
His parents wanted him to choose a bride from his homeland. So Mahen goes to visits his old village.

He fell in love with Kamla (love at first site) kamlawati was uneducated, that’s one of the things Mahen liked about her because he knows how educated girls change in the U.S.
Anyway he said kamla to marry him promising her that they will go on a honeymoon. Kamla was amazed she thought to herself, “kya pati milla hai muje moon pe lejayega”

She was so excited to visit the moon she agreed to marry Mahen. When they arrived in America the couple went on a honeymoon to las vegas. After the (suhagrat) was over Kamla asks Mahen, “Aap ne wada kia tha ki hum honeymoon pe jainge…kub chale ga moon pe.”
Mahen replied : Suhag raat ko honeymoon bolte hai America mein.
Kamla replied : Oh!!! Aisa honeymoon to hum ganna ke khet mein bohut manawa hai.

Once Nasiruddin Hozza has thrown a big party in his residence. So he needs one big fry pan and he lend it from his neighbour.
After few days he returned the big pry pan including a small fry pan.
The neighbour asked the reason and he told that “Your fry pan gave birth to a new small fry pan, so i gave you both the fry pans.


The man happily received the fry pans. After some days Nasiruddin Hozza needs again the big fry pan and he went to his neighbour and brought the fry pan.
But long time passed Hozza did not return the fry pan.
So the neighbour came to him and asked for his fry pan. Hozza replied “Your fry pan died to give birth of her 2nd issue.”

Sardar : (To a friend) Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend : B.A.

Sardar : kamal karte ho yaar! Sirf do word padhe, aur woh bhi ulte…

Bank Robbery

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a Mcdonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida… And they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
Name: John Flower
Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
Desired position: Company’s president or vice president. But seriously, whatever available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a michael ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Education: yes.
Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less than I’m worth.

Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
Reason for leaving: It sucked.
Hours available to work: Any.
Preferred hours: 1:30-3:30 p.M., Monday, tuesday, and thursday.
Do you have any special skills?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
May we contact your current employer: If i had one, would i be here?

Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 lbs?: Of what?
Do you have a car: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
Have you received any special awards or recognition: I may already be a winner of the publishers clearing house sweepstakes.
Do you smoke: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
What would you like to be doing in five years: Living in the bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely.

Jingle Translation

Boost is the secret of my energy

• 
  
• 
  

Can’t stop laughing

• 
  
• 
  

Going for a roller coaster

idiot question and answer

• 
  
• 
  

Novel reading cat

Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The things to avoid is being a bore to oneself.

Wives of Yesterday


Wives of Today

Wives of Tomorrow

Perfectly trained cat......

Such a lazy dude

Old man Santa limped into the doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!”
The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, “Mr. Santa, just how old are you?”

“98!” Santa announced proudly.
The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again…

Finally he said, “Sir, I’m sorry. I mean, just look at you. You’re practically one hundred years old, and you’re complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect?”
The old Santa said, “Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it don’t hurt!”