TICKLE 'n' GIGGLE

Perfectly trained cat......

Such a lazy dude

Old man Santa limped into the doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!”
The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, “Mr. Santa, just how old are you?”

“98!” Santa announced proudly.
The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again…

Finally he said, “Sir, I’m sorry. I mean, just look at you. You’re practically one hundred years old, and you’re complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect?”
The old Santa said, “Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it don’t hurt!”

Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, sickness and captivity would, without this comfort, be insupportable.

There once were four guys.
One guy was brought up in a hospital and all he knew how to say was “I did it! I did it!”
Then there was a guy who was brought up in a restaurant and all he knew how to say was “forks and knives!”
Then there was a guy brought up in a candy shop and all he knew how to say was “goodie goodie gum drops!”
Then the fourth guy was brought up in a glade plug in store and all he knew how to say was “plug it in! plug it in!”

One day they all met in a park and there was this dead guy on a bench.
A cop walks up and says who did this and the first guy said “I did it! I did it!”
And the cop says how did you do this and the second guy said “forks and knives!”
The cop says what do you have to say for your selves and the third guy says “goodie goodie gum drops!”
Then the cop says you are all going in the electric chair any last words and the fourth guy says “plug it in! plug it in!

A 60 year old woman was walking along when she heard a voice from above “You will live to be 100.”
She looked around and didn t see anyone. Again she heard “You will live to be 100.”
Oh! she thought to herself that was the voice of God. I’ve got 40 more years to live!

So off she went to the plastic surgeon. She got everything fixed from head to toe.

When she left the plastic surgeon s office, she got hit by a bus and died and went up to heaven.
She said to God, “You told me I would live to be 100. I was supposed to have had 40 more years. So how come you let the bus kill me?”.
God said, “I didn’t recognize you”.

Q:  Where does a cow stop to drink?

Question : What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women?
Answer : AGE

Four sardars wanted to open an auto repair shop.
They bought the best car servicing equipment and soon inaugurated the repair shop.
They all waited eagerly on the inaugural day; but no customer arrived. A couple of days passed, there were no cars that came in for repairs.

A week, then a month went by, there were no cars.
After all, how could cars come in, the sardars had put up their garage on the second floor.

Why did your sister shoot the alarm clock ?
Because she felt like killing time.

A Police Officer asked me last night where I was between 4 and 6.
I replied Kindergarten.

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made ..."

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"

The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his!"

दो बच्चों की मां तीसरी बार शादी कर रही थी.
फेरों के वक्त छोटा बच्चा रोने लगा. बहुत कोशिश की पर उसका रोना बंद नहीं हुआ.

तंग आकर मां बोली – “चुप हो जा वरना अगली शादी में  लेकर नही जाऊंगी !!!”

A teacher once asks all students to write an essay on the topic “A Poor Family”. One student gets the lowest marks for writing that essay . The student happens to be the richest girl in the entire class and her essay goes on as…


She writes :
Ek baar ek bahut hee gareeb family thi, husband aur wife dono gareeb they, doo bachey they, woh bhi bahut gareeb they!!!
Ghar ke saare naukar bhi gareeb they, ghar ka maali, driver aur guard bhi bahut gareeb they, ghar ke 4 kuttey bhi gareeb they, 2 din sey chicken nahi khaaya tha, 3 mercedeez car thi,
unki bahut time se servicing nahi hui thi, ghar ka A.C bhi theek nahi chalta tha, ghar mein 1 saal sey paint nahi hua tha family ko holiday ke liye foreign country gaye bhi 6 mahiney ho gaye they, ghar ke 5 mein sey 2 TV to chaltey hee nahi they, all in all, bahut he gareeb family thi!!!!!

Maths teacher asks a boy what are 2,4,10,17.
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The boy replies they are HBO, ZOOM, SONY and POGO