1/27/2013 08:23:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg. He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.
A passer by who’d seen everything remarked: “That’s very tolerant of you after what he just did.”
“Not really,” came the reply. “I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him.”
A passer by who’d seen everything remarked: “That’s very tolerant of you after what he just did.”
“Not really,” came the reply. “I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him.”
1/23/2013 10:50:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
1/23/2013 09:22:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
One police asked to the thief, “How you theft the horse within a minute in front of so many people?”
Thief replied, “I did not take the horse, it was the horse who has taken me so fast within a second.”
Thief replied, “I did not take the horse, it was the horse who has taken me so fast within a second.”
1/22/2013 10:56:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.
So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to china. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read “$10,000 per call”. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way. Next stop was in japan. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in china and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
“O.K., thank you,” said the American.
He then traveled to pakistan, srilanka, russia, Germany and France.
In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same “$10,000 per call” sign under it. The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to see if Indians had the same phone.
He arrived in India, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read “One Rupee per call.”
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.
“Father, I’ve traveled all over World and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?”
The priest smiled and answered, “You’re in India now, son it’s a local call”.
So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to china. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read “$10,000 per call”. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way. Next stop was in japan. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in china and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
“O.K., thank you,” said the American.
He then traveled to pakistan, srilanka, russia, Germany and France.
In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same “$10,000 per call” sign under it. The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to see if Indians had the same phone.
He arrived in India, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read “One Rupee per call.”
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.
“Father, I’ve traveled all over World and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?”
The priest smiled and answered, “You’re in India now, son it’s a local call”.
1/19/2013 04:58:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Train mein TT Sadhu se bola : Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT : Ticket hai?
Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
1/19/2013 04:56:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek aurat apne beta ko doctor ke pass le jaati hai aur bolti hai mera beta bike se gir gaya.
Doctor: I don’t know hindi. Tell me in english
Aurat: My londa gironda from hero honda.
1/19/2013 04:55:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Dad to son: When I beat you how do you control your anger?
Son: I start cleaning toilet.
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush.
1/19/2013 04:52:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
1. What is height of Fashion?
- Dhoti with a zip .
**************
2. What is height of Secrecy?
- Offering blank visiting cards.
**************
3. What is height of Active laziness?
- Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
**************
4. What is height of Craziness?
- Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
**************
5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
- Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
**************
6. What is height of Stupidity?
-A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
**************
7. What is height of Honesty?
- A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
**************
8. What is height of Suicide?
- A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
**************
9. What is height of De-hydration?
- A cow giving milk powder.
**************
- Dhoti with a zip .
**************
2. What is height of Secrecy?
- Offering blank visiting cards.
**************
3. What is height of Active laziness?
- Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
**************
4. What is height of Craziness?
- Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
**************
5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
- Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
**************
6. What is height of Stupidity?
-A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
**************
7. What is height of Honesty?
- A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
**************
8. What is height of Suicide?
- A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
**************
9. What is height of De-hydration?
- A cow giving milk powder.
**************
1/19/2013 04:49:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Wife: Woh admi jo drink kar raha hai, Usko maine 10 saal pehle shadi ke liye inkaar kia tha. Dekho who aaj tak sharab pee raha hai!
Husband: Wow! itni lambi celebration!
1/19/2013 04:38:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Sardar : 13th October
Interviewer: Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke patthe — EVERY YEAR
1/16/2013 09:17:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Judge: Order! Order!
Sardar: Ek full chicken masala, 4 paratha, 1 kabab aur 1 coffee.
Judge: Shut up!
Sardar: Shut up nahi 7 up.
Sardar: Ek full chicken masala, 4 paratha, 1 kabab aur 1 coffee.
Judge: Shut up!
Sardar: Shut up nahi 7 up.
1/14/2013 11:03:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, ‘Windy, isn’t it?‘ No, ‘the second man replied, ‘it’s Thursday.’ The third man chimed in, ‘So am I. Let’s have a beer.’
One remarked to the other, ‘Windy, isn’t it?‘ No, ‘the second man replied, ‘it’s Thursday.’ The third man chimed in, ‘So am I. Let’s have a beer.’
1/10/2013 08:42:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Raat ka time jab Munna aur Chinkie apnay bed room mien so rahay thay to phone ki ghanti baji.
Voice: Aray doctor sahab jaldi aayeay! Meray betay nay blade kha liya hai.
Munna abhi jaanay k liye tayyar hi hota k dobara phone aata hai.
Voice: Doctor Sahab! Aab aanay ki koi zaroorat nahi, meray husband ko shave k liye doosra blade mil gaya hai.
Voice: Aray doctor sahab jaldi aayeay! Meray betay nay blade kha liya hai.
Munna abhi jaanay k liye tayyar hi hota k dobara phone aata hai.
Voice: Doctor Sahab! Aab aanay ki koi zaroorat nahi, meray husband ko shave k liye doosra blade mil gaya hai.
1/09/2013 08:27:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at him and say hello.
He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?”
To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the dancer from my bachelor party, oh my god, I know I was drunk that night, but you got pregnant too!!Please don’t tell my wife, she’ll kill me!
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, actually I’m your son’s math teacher.”
He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?”
To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the dancer from my bachelor party, oh my god, I know I was drunk that night, but you got pregnant too!!Please don’t tell my wife, she’ll kill me!
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, actually I’m your son’s math teacher.”
1/07/2013 04:04:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
1/04/2013 08:35:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
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