12/28/2010 04:50:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
टीचर-राम,क्या तुम हमेशा तुतलाते हो?
राम-जी नहीं,सिर्फ बोलते हुए|
12/27/2010 05:03:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
"If i give the money, will you buy booze ?"a man asks a beggar.
The beggar says no.
The man asks , "will you gamble ?"
The beggar says no.
"Then will you come with me ? the man asks. "I want my wife to see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble."
12/27/2010 04:49:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
"Mum, I'm going out for a walk," says a girl to her mother. "I some fresh air."
"very well , but tell your "fresh air" that you have to be home by nine O'clock!
12/26/2010 08:41:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
One child to another-Our parents have many options for us like:
Poison
Sleeping pills
Hanging by neck
Throwing from building
But they choose EDUCATION
Socha tarpa tarpa ke maarenge.
12/26/2010 08:34:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
मुन्ना-यार सर्किट,ये गांधीजी हर नोट में हँसते क्यों है?
सर्किट-सिंपल है भाई,रोएंगे तो नोट गीला हो जाएगा|
12/26/2010 08:30:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
संता अपनी बहन को लेकर कहीं जा रहा था|
रास्ते में एक लड़के ने संता से कहा-ओए,माशूका को लेकर कहाँ जा रहा है?
संता गुस्से में बोला-ओए,माशूका होगी तेरी,मेरी तो बहन है|
12/25/2010 03:59:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A city slicker sees a field of animal and says to the farmer in charge, "what a strange-looking cow. Why doesn't it have horn?" "Well, there are several reasons, "the farmer replies. "Some cows get their horn late, other have their horns cut off , and still other never grow horns. "And this cow?" the city man asks. "Well, the reasons this cow doesn't have any horn is because it's a horse."
12/23/2010 07:32:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Man in sea-Help,help,I can't swim.
Drunkard on shore-So what?I can't play the violin but I am not shouting about it.
Drunkard on shore-So what?I can't play the violin but I am not shouting about it.
12/23/2010 07:28:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Dad-There is something wrong with my shaving brush.
Son-That's funny,it was alright when I painted my bike with it.
12/23/2010 04:41:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Playing golf,a lawyer got hit by a ball. When the player came over looking for the ball, the lawyer said,"I' m sorry,"said the golfer."But i did say 'fore.'"
"I'll take it,"said the lawyer.
12/23/2010 10:46:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher-sonu,tell me one sentence starting with 'I'.
Sonu-'I'is the....
Teacher-Always start with,'I'am...
Sonu-I am is the ninth letter in the alphabet list.
12/22/2010 11:49:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher-Ravi,why are writing your exam near the door?
Ravi-Becausea,it is a enterance exam.
12/22/2010 10:57:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Smile is a great and wonderful gift from God.,and when we share it with someone,it costs nothing but enriches those who receive it without making the giver poor.
12/13/2010 04:22:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Two goats were eating lunch in the junkyard when one of them came across a large reel of film left over from an old movie theater and promptly began to eat it. When the first goat finished eating all the film, the second one asked, "well, how did you like it ?" not bad, "the first goat replied. "But i liked the book better."
12/11/2010 10:28:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
पप्पू दूधवाले से -तुम्हारी भैंस कितना दूध देती है?
दूधवाला-जी,दस किलो|
पप्पू-कितना बेच लेते हो?
दूधवाला-जी,ऊपरवाले कि कृपा से,पन्द्रह किलो|
12/09/2010 08:02:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
God first created the universe and then rested.God then created man and rested,he finally created woman and since then,neither God nor man rested.
12/06/2010 09:30:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
बच्चा-मम्मी,मेरा दोस्त राहुल आ रहा है,मेरे सारे खिलोने छुपा दो|
मम्मी-क्या तुम्हारा दोस्त चोर है?
बच्चा-नहीं,वो अपने खिलोने पहचान जाएगा|
12/05/2010 04:00:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Carpenter : your hammer is like lightning.
Helper : you mean I'm fast?
Carpenter : no, i mean you seldom strike at same place.
12/05/2010 03:52:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher : what is the definition of an adult?
Student : someone who stopped growing upward and started growing sideways.
12/03/2010 04:55:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Patient : we like you better than the last doctor.
Doctor : how is that?
Patient : you seem more like one of us.
12/03/2010 04:48:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher : what happened in 1869?
Student : Mahatma Gandhi was born.
Student : Mahatma Gandhi was born.
Teacher : what happened in1873?
Student : Gandhi was four years old.
12/02/2010 11:45:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Good News!
All engineering exams will now be only objective type-
Example-3+3=?
0PTIONS-
A-6
B-SIX
C-VI
D-6.0
MORAL-ENGINEERING IS STILL TOUGH.
11/28/2010 01:10:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
When my sister was in high school,she went out with the captain of the chess team.My parents loved him because they figured any guy who took three hours to make a move was okay.
11/26/2010 04:57:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Three boys are boasting about their grandfathers."my grandpa is a great swimmer,"says the first."he can swim for hours!"
"That's nothing," says the second."My grandpa goes swimming at six in the morning every day and doesn't get out till six at night."
"Big deal!"smirks the third boy."My grandpa went swimming in this pond 20 years ago,and he still basn't come out!"
11/23/2010 11:19:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Question-Why do some teachers wear sunglasses to school?
Answer-Because some of them have very bright students.
11/22/2010 04:03:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Terms of computer in Punjabi-
Send-satto
insert-paao
download-thalle laao
delete-mitti pao
run-nasso
search-labbo
CTRL+ALT+DEL-syaapa hi mukya.
11/21/2010 05:15:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
शराबी ने आखिरी समय में इश्वर को याद किया |
इश्वर प्रकट हुए ,उन्हें दया आई और वह बोले : अगले जन्म के लिए कोई वरदान मांग लो|
शराबी बोला-प्रभु अगले जन्म में आँख चाहे एक देना,पर लीवर चार देना|
11/19/2010 01:30:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Why does a skeleton refuse to cross the road?
Because he has no guts.
11/17/2010 05:02:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
passenger;DOES this bus runs on time?
conductor;NO,it runs on wheels.
11/16/2010 04:16:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
पत्नी पति से-अगर कोई आदमी जबरदस्ती मुझे भागकर ले जाए तो तुम क्या करोगे?
पति ;मै उससे कहूँगा कि भले आदमी भागकर ले जाने की क्या जरुरत है ,आराम से ले जाओ|
11/12/2010 11:41:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
बेटा- पापा,मैं इतना बड़ा कब होऊंगा कि मम्मी से बिना पूछे बाहर जा सकूं?
पापा-बेटा,इतना बड़ा तो मैं भी नहीं हुआ हूँ|
11/11/2010 09:29:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
रावी-ये माँ-बाप भी अजीब होतें हैं|सवाल भी खुद पूछ्तें हैं,जवाब भी खुद ही देतें हैं|
अनिल-कैसे,समझ नहीं आया|
रावी-कल रात जब मैं टीवी देख रहा था,माँ आकर बोली,पता है क्या वक़्त हो गया है,रात के बारह बज चुकें हैं|
11/10/2010 12:13:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
सरकारी वकील -जज साहिब,इस महिला ने दो बार आत्महत्या करने कि कोशिश कि है|
जज-दो बार क्यों?
वकील-एक बार जब इसका पति घर छोड़कर चला गया था,और दूसरी बार जब इसका पति लौट आया|
11/08/2010 12:40:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
पत्नी-आप अपने हाथ पर ब्लेड क्यों मार रहे हो?
पति-डिटौल कि शीशी टूट गई है,काम आ जाएगी|
11/05/2010 05:12:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Human brain is the most amazing thing in the world,it functions 24 hours a day,365 days a year.It functions right from the time we are born,and stops only when we enter the examination hall.
10/31/2010 12:02:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A. It let out a little wine!
10/31/2010 12:01:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In snow banks.
10/31/2010 12:00:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?
A. They take the psycho path.
10/31/2010 11:59:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
10/31/2010 11:59:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Is that you mommy?"
10/31/2010 11:58:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
10/28/2010 05:19:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Master-Do me se do gaye toh kitne bache?
Sardar-Samajh nhi aaya masterji.
Master-Beta tumhare paas 2 roti hai , tumne do roti khali , tumhare paas kya bacha ?
Sardar- sabji .
10/21/2010 04:46:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Passenger-conductor,does this bus run on time?
Conductor-no,this bus runs on wheels.
10/19/2010 05:59:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Mary-Honey,what a lovely kid you are?Do you go to school?
Kid-No,I am sent to school.
10/10/2010 09:18:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
History Teacher-Mughals ruled India,from when to when?
Anil-From page 33 to page36 in our history book,Sir.
10/07/2010 04:50:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... nothing more
Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres
and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it through courier.
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Sorry, Non living things can't communicate.
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
Q. What is the difference between Process and Threads?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
Q. What is JINI?
A. A ghost, which was Aladdin's friend.
Q. How will you call an Applet from a ___Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.
10/07/2010 04:47:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Letter to Mr.Bill Gates from Banta singh
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have
bought a computer for
our home and we found problems, which I want to bring
to your notice.
After connecting to internet we
planned to open e-mail
account and whenever
we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column,
only ****** appears,
but
in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears,
but we face this
problem only in password field. We checked with
hardware vendor Santa Singh
and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open
the e-mail account with password *****. I request you
to check this as we
ourselves do not know what the password is.
We are unable to enter anything after we click the
shut down button.
There is a button 'start' but there is no stop button.
We request you to
check this.
We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend
clicked 'run' has ran
upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to
sit so that we can
click
that by sitting.
One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in
system? As I find only
're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
Also there is 'Find' button but it is not working
properly. My wife lost
the
door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with
this 'find', but
unable
to trace. Is it a bug??
Thanks,
Banta Singh
Punjab
10/07/2010 04:45:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Banta Singh and Santa Singh got tired with the mobile communication
and decided to use the conventional method of communication.
That is to use pigeons to send messages. One day Santa sends his pigeon.
When the pigeon reached Banta, it was with out any message.
and decided to use the conventional method of communication.
That is to use pigeons to send messages. One day Santa sends his pigeon.
When the pigeon reached Banta, it was with out any message.
Angrily, Banta
picks up his mobile and calls and asks Santa "what is this - a joke?
The pigeon is without any message."
Guess what Santa said???
picks up his mobile and calls and asks Santa "what is this - a joke?
The pigeon is without any message."
Guess what Santa said???
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Donkey, that was a missed call!
10/07/2010 04:44:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Santa and Banta had just bought two horses.Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses.So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.While doing so,an enemy of Santa looks at him.This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta.
By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate. So, next thing santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear , then his tail , then makes him blind and so on .And the enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse.At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only .The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to diffrenciate thier horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white .
By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate. So, next thing santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear , then his tail , then makes him blind and so on .And the enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse.At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only .The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to diffrenciate thier horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white .
10/07/2010 04:42:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a
bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a
bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
10/07/2010 04:40:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's Place in a Brand New - Red Ferarri.
Banta: Wow Banta, ke gaddi hai (What a car)Kithon laiye (where did you get it from)
Santa:Main highway te lift mung reha se ... Gori Mem aaee te meine kende "want a ride Mr. Singh" I hopped in,
and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. take anything"
Banta is quite excited and asks "tu ke keeta Santa "
Santa: Mian gaddi lai layee. (I took the car)
Banta: Changa keeta kapde tenu fit bhi nahi aane se (good showyou wouldn't have fit into her clothes)
Banta: Wow Banta, ke gaddi hai (What a car)Kithon laiye (where did you get it from)
Santa:Main highway te lift mung reha se ... Gori Mem aaee te meine kende "want a ride Mr. Singh" I hopped in,
and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. take anything"
Banta is quite excited and asks "tu ke keeta Santa "
Santa: Mian gaddi lai layee. (I took the car)
Banta: Changa keeta kapde tenu fit bhi nahi aane se (good showyou wouldn't have fit into her clothes)
10/07/2010 04:38:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Santa enters a store that sell curtains.
He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Santa replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"
Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Santa replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"
Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
10/07/2010 04:31:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek aadmi aacountant ban jata hai .veh pen ke saath kainchi(scissor)bhi rakh leta hai .Toh uski patni pucchti hai kainchi(scissor) kyun leke ja rhe ho.
Aadmi : Agar wha CHEQUE kaatne ki zarurat padegi to kaise katunga.
10/07/2010 04:26:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A Lady : Is this bus running on time.
Conductor : No Ma'am , it is running on wheels.
10/07/2010 04:25:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher : You aren't paying attention to me.Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil : No , teacher ,actually I'm having trouble listening .
10/07/2010 04:20:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Son : Father , we will become rich person very soon .
Father : How , son ?
Son : My maths teacher taught us how to convert paise into rupees.
10/06/2010 10:02:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
संता और बंता,बम्बई घूमने गए|
संता-बता,यहाँ से दिल्ली ज्यादा दूर है या चाँद?
बंता-दिल्ली|
संता-कैसे?
बंता-हम यहाँ से चाँद दिखाई दे रहा है,पर दिल्ली नहीं|
10/05/2010 04:50:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Ans:Because below 18 was not allowed.
Ans:Because below 18 was not allowed.
10/05/2010 04:45:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
American- We have invented the cell phone.
Chinese- We have invented SMS.
Korean- We have invented the bluetooth.
Indian- We have invented missed call.
10/04/2010 03:31:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
One uneducated woman goes to the bank.
The clerk asks her to sign the cheque,
She asks him how to do it.The clerk tells her,
exactly to write she writes to her husband in the letter.
The woman immediatly writes-tumhaare munne ki amma.
9/26/2010 03:42:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
ek sardar doosre se,
are kele ka chilka,
lagta hai,
aaj phir fisalna padega.
9/25/2010 01:08:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
लड़का-पूजा,तुम्हारे बारहवीं में कितने %आए ?
पूजा-९९%|
लड़का-बाप रे,इतने में तो तीन लड़के पास हो जाते|
9/22/2010 02:10:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
एक गंजे के सर पर दो बाल उग आए|
एक दिन दोनों में प्यार हो गया|
पर,
उन दोनों का विवाह न हो सका,
क्योंकि बाल-विवाह अपराध है|
9/21/2010 08:46:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
पप्पू को फांसी कि सजा हुई |
जज ने पूछा : कोई आखिरी ख्वाहिश ?
पप्पू : मेरी जगह आप लटक जाओ |
9/19/2010 08:37:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
टीचर-तुम्हारे पिता का क्या नाम है?
बच्चा-गूगल सिंह|
टीचर-ये कैसा नाम है?
बच्चा-मैं जहाँ भी जाऊं,वे मुझे ढून्ढ लेते हैं|
9/18/2010 05:33:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
As the stranger entered the village store , he spots a sign : "Danger! Beware of dog!" Inside , he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor .
"Is that the dogs we're supposed to beware of ?" he asks the owner . "That's him ,"comes the reply .
" He doesn't look dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign ?" "Before I posted it ,people kept tripping over him"
9/16/2010 08:28:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher-When was Rome built?
Sanjay-At night,Sir.
Teacher-Who told you that?
Sanjay-You did,sir.You once said that Rome was not built in a day!
9/14/2010 09:25:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
पति -अजी सुनते हो , डाक्टरो का कहना है कि ज्यादा बोलने से इंसान कि उम्र कम हो जाती है |
पत्नी-अब तो तुमको यकीन हो गया न कि मेरी उम्र 45 से घटकर 25 कैसे हो गयी |
9/11/2010 09:14:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
अमित-तुम्हारे घर में किसका राज चलता है?
सुमित-सबका|
अमित-कैसे?
सुमित-मेरी बीवी बच्चों को डांटती है,बच्चे नौकरों को डांटते हैं,और मैं कुत्ते-बिल्ली को हड्कारता रहता हूँ|
9/11/2010 01:59:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
GIRLFRIEND TO HIS BOYFRIEND
Girlfriend-Tum shaadi ke baad mujhe pyaar karoge.
Boyfriend-If your husband allows me.
9/10/2010 12:54:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- aise kaise jaa raha hai, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain ab answer bata ke jaa.
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- aise kaise jaa raha hai, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain ab answer bata ke jaa.
9/10/2010 12:52:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
9/04/2010 12:07:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
NEW DEFINATION OF CURD
"Milk sleeping at night , morning becoming tight."
9/02/2010 05:35:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India
9/02/2010 05:34:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more
8/28/2010 11:42:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
पत्नी चालीसा
नमो नमो पत्नी महारानी
तुमरी महिमा कोई न जानी
हम जानी
हम ने समझा तुम अबला हो
पर तुम सबसे बड़ी बला हो
जिस घर में हो तुम्हारा वास
सास-ससुर करे स्वर्ग निवास
जिस हाथ में बेलन आवें
उस दिन पति खूब चिल्लावे
सारे बेड पर पत्नी सोवें
पति बैठ फर्श पर रोवें
तुमसे ही घर मथुरा काशी
तुमसे ही घर सत्यानाशी
पत्नी चालीसा जो नर गावें
सब सुख छोड़ परम दुःख पावें
बोलो पत्नी मैया कि जय
8/27/2010 10:26:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
टीचर-अनिल,मैंने तुम्हे कुत्ते पर निबंध लिखने को कहा था,दिखाओ|
अनिल-मैंने कुत्ते पर जैसे ही पेन चलाने कि कोशिश कि,वह भाग गया|
8/24/2010 11:15:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
महेश-तुम्हारे घर में बाढ़ का पानी घुस आया है|
रमेश-झूठ क्यों बोल रहे हो,घर कि चाबी तो मेरे पास है|
8/22/2010 10:11:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
संता-बाजू के घर से दही मांग कर ला..
बीवी-वो लोग नहीं देंगे|
संता-हाँ,बड़े ही कंजूस और कमीने लोग हैं,चल अपने ही फ्रिज से निकाल ले|
8/20/2010 10:54:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
पति-अरे तुमने अचानक कार कि स्पीड क्यों बढ़ा दी है ?
पत्नी- ओ जी, कार के ब्रेक फ़ैल हो गये है , इससे पहले कि कही कोई एक्सिडेंट हो जाए , हम घर पहुँच जाएँगे !
8/19/2010 09:08:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher-'Ram,why are you doing your maths work on the floor?'
Ram-'You only told us not to use the tables,while doing sums.'
8/16/2010 08:27:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
अफसर ने जवान से पूछा-तुम कितनी बार पैराशूट से कूदे हो?
जवान-सिर्फ एक बार|
अफसर-तुम्हारे रिकौर्ड में तो तो लिखा है,१५ बार|
जवान-१४ बार तो मुझे धकेला गया था जनाब|
/
8/14/2010 02:00:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
बंता-तुम सुबह अपने स्कूटर को धक्का लगाकर क्यों ले जा रहे हो ?
संता-मैं दफ्तर के लिए लेट हो गया था | मेरे पास इतना भी टाइम नही था कि स्कूटर को स्टार्ट करके उस पर चढ़ जाऊं |
8/14/2010 01:51:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A man was standing in a queue for the ticket of railway.
A man before him asked a ticket for punjab mail.
Then came his chance he asked a ticket for punjab female.
The railway officer-??WHAT??.
The man said"actually i am buying ticket for my wife.
A man before him asked a ticket for punjab mail.
Then came his chance he asked a ticket for punjab female.
The railway officer-??WHAT??.
The man said"actually i am buying ticket for my wife.
8/13/2010 10:27:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
मोहन-"बॉस,आप शादीशुदा आदमी को ही काम पर क्यों रखतें हैं?"
बॉस-"क्योंकि,उन्हें पहले से ही गालियाँ खाने की आदत होती है|"
8/10/2010 05:25:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Shaadi me ek sardar bahut khana kha rha tha.
Dusre aadmi ne puchcha-Kab tak khaoge?
Sardar-Main to khud kha -kha kar dukhi hu, Par card me likha tha DINNER: 7 TO 9 pm .
Dusre aadmi ne puchcha-Kab tak khaoge?
Sardar-Main to khud kha -kha kar dukhi hu, Par card me likha tha DINNER: 7 TO 9 pm .
8/10/2010 05:21:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Sardar ka sir phat gya!!
Doctor:Ye kaise hua?
Sardar:Main chappal se keel thok rha tha , mujhe ek aadmi bola -"GADHE KABHI KHOPDI KA ISTEMAL BHI KAR LIYA KAR"
Doctor:Ye kaise hua?
Sardar:Main chappal se keel thok rha tha , mujhe ek aadmi bola -"GADHE KABHI KHOPDI KA ISTEMAL BHI KAR LIYA KAR"
8/10/2010 05:16:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Sardar BARAF ka tukda haath me le kar gaur se dekh rha tha .
Kisi ne puchcha kya kar rhe ho?
Sardar bola :Dekh rha hun ki ye leak kha se ho rhi hai.
Kisi ne puchcha kya kar rhe ho?
Sardar bola :Dekh rha hun ki ye leak kha se ho rhi hai.
8/08/2010 07:49:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
The biggest mystery of Maths;1000s of years passed,millions of theorems arrived,100s of formulas made,
But still.......X is unknown.
8/07/2010 09:29:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
कस्टमर- मुझे आपका होटल में एक हफ्ता पहले आना चाहिए था |
होटल मालिक-ये तो आपकी मेहरबानी है साहब |क्या आपको हमारा होटल इतना अच्छा लगा ?
कस्टमर-नही , बात ये है की जो खाना अभी-अभी मैंने खाया है ,वो उस वक़्त ताज़ा तो रहा होगा |
8/06/2010 07:24:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
John enters a bank-"Doctor,my eyes have become weak,I think I need a pair of glasses."
Banker-"You certainly do,because this is a bank,not a doctor's clinic".
8/02/2010 05:46:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher to Santa : Your son is a fool . See his report
English-6
Mathematics-7
Science-4
Social Studies -8
TOTAL:25
Santa:Total me to kamaal hi kar diya .Is subject ki to mere bete ne tuition bhi nhi li thi.
8/02/2010 05:28:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
"If give you the money ,will you buy booze ?" a man asks a beggar.
The beggar says no .
The man asks , "Will you gamble ?"
The beggar says no.
"Then will you come with me ? the man asks . "I want my wife to see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble ."
7/31/2010 02:48:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Bhikhari: Sahib ik rupaiya de do.
Sahib: Kal anna.
Funny Bhikhari: Iss kal kal ke chakkar mein iss colony mein mere lakhon rupaiye fasse hue hai
7/31/2010 02:46:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek train bohot time baad chali.
Muslim kehta: Ya Ali bla tali.
Hindu kehta: Jai Bajrang Bali.
Funny Sardar kehta: Arre Ali aur Bali, train apni nahi, saath vali chali !!!
7/31/2010 02:40:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
टीटी और साधु
ट्रेन में -
टीटी साधु से :कहा जाना है ?
साधु : वही जहाँ श्री राम जन्मे थे ?
टीटी :टिकेट है क्या ?
साधु :नहीं
टीटी :चलो .....
साधु: कहा
टीटी : व्ही जहाँ श्री राम कृष्ण जन्मे थे ?
7/30/2010 11:50:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
"Doctor,how do I stop my nose from running?"
Doctor-"Stick your foot out,and trip it up."
7/30/2010 02:18:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
waiter-"Sir,just 50 Rs tip,yesterday your son 100Rs as tip".
customer-"I am a son of a school teacher,and my son's father is a millionaire."
7/27/2010 01:40:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
While showing tourists around Washington,a guide pointed out where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac river.
"That's impossible,"said the man."No one can throw the coin so far."
"You have to remember,"answered the guide."A dollar went a lot further in those days."
7/26/2010 10:11:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Original
Humphty Dumphty sat on a wall,
Humphty Dumphty had a great fall,
All the kings’ horses, all the kings’ men
Couldn’t put Humphty Dumphty
together again
Humphty Dumphty had a great fall,
All the kings’ horses, all the kings’ men
Couldn’t put Humphty Dumphty
together again
Punjabi Translation:
Baba Karnail Singh baitha si Dukaan te’
Baba Karnail Singh diggya dhadam se, Pind de log phir
aa ke kehan lagge,
Baba Karnail Singh te gaya hun kaam se.
Baba Karnail Singh diggya dhadam se, Pind de log phir
aa ke kehan lagge,
Baba Karnail Singh te gaya hun kaam se.
7/26/2010 10:08:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A man received an invitation, to a party
which said “Black Tie Only”!!
When he went to the party he was surprised to
find the other invitees wearing trousers and shirts
as well !!!!
which said “Black Tie Only”!!
When he went to the party he was surprised to
find the other invitees wearing trousers and shirts
as well !!!!
7/25/2010 08:03:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
'Mom,I'm going out for a walk',says a girl to her mother.'I need some fresh air'.
'Very well,but tell your 'fresh air'that you have to be home by nine o'clock.'
7/24/2010 08:05:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
"Why can't I clone myself and keep the copies as spare parts?a biology teacher was asked.His answer was-"Be careful,one of the copies might keep you for for parts."
7/23/2010 07:41:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
A tiger and his mate were resting under a tree in sundarbans.Seeing them,a deer fled past as fast as he could.
"What was that?"yawned the drowsy tiger.
"fast food",said the tigress.
7/22/2010 03:10:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Did you hear that the world's biggest optimist fell out a window on the 79th floor?As he sailed past the 20th floor,he was overheard saying,"doing okay so far."
7/20/2010 11:06:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Some friends rented a boat and went fishing on the lake.After they'd caught there fill and were heading on the dock,one guy asked,"Did you mark the spot where we got all these fish?"
"Of course,"his friend said,"I put a big white X on the side of the boat where we caught them.
"You idiot!"the first guy yelled in disgust."What makes you think we will be able to get this boat tomorrow?"
7/18/2010 08:54:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
A man is in the court for murder and the judge says,"You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
Then a voice at the back of the court yells,"You liar,fifteen years I lived next door to that liar and,every time I asked to borrow a hammer,he said he didn't have one!..."
7/16/2010 12:08:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
"They tell me your son in college is quite an author.Does he write for money?"
"Yes in every letter."
7/15/2010 04:36:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A guy walks into a bar and orders two beers . The bartender looks at him curiously . "One's for me ," the man explains. "The other is for my poor ,sickly brother back in the old country . He's barely hanging on." The bartender nods sympathetically and pours him two glasses of beer . This goes on to for most of the night and the next night , and the one after that .After about a week of drinking two beers at a time-one for him , one for his sickly brother -the man comes into the bar looking particularly downhearted and orders just one beer .
"It's your brother , isn't it ?" the barman says solemnly .
"No,nothing wrong with him ," the man says , shrugging . "It's me . I've given up drinking ."
7/14/2010 09:40:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
दूर से बिल्ली को आता देखकर,चूहा दिवार के पीछे छिप गया और बोला-"भौं-भौं"
बिल्ली समझी,आसपास कहीं कुत्ता है और वह भाग खड़ी हुई|यह देखकर चूहे के
बच्चे ने पूछा,"पापा यह क्या था?"
चूहे के पापा बोले-"सैकिंड लैन्गुइज़ सीखने का फायदा|"
7/12/2010 07:59:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
An engineer,an accountant,a chemist and a bureaucrat are bragging about how smart their dogs are.
The engineer called his dog,"T-square,do your stuff."The dog took out a paper and pen and drew a circle, a square and a triangle.Everyone greed he was smart.
The accountant called,"Slide Rule,Do your stuff."The dog got a dozen cookies and made four stacks of three.Everyone was impressed.
The chemist called,"Beaker do your stuff."The dog brought a jug of milk,got a250ml glass,and poured exactly 200ml without spilling a drop.Everyone agreed he ws great.
The bureaucrat called,"Coffee Break,do your stuff."the dog ate the cookies,drank the milk,chewed the paper,claimed the injuries his mouth doing so,filed a grievance for unsafe work conditions,asked for compensation and took extended sick leave.
7/10/2010 02:55:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Santa: What is the difference between “complete and finish”?
Banta: When you marry a right person you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished !!!!!
7/10/2010 02:51:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A Bengali babu returns from China.
Bengali asks wife: Do I look like a foreigner ?
Wife: No.
Bengali: Look carefully, do I look like a foreigner ?
Wife again replies: No.
By now Mr Bengali was fuming.
Bengali yells: All those women in China were fools. Where ever I visited, they all said: "Look a foreigner"
7/08/2010 05:58:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
"Say , Dad , remember that story you told me about when you were expelled from the college ?"
"Yes. "
"Well , I was just thinking , Dad , how true it is ,that history repeats itself !"
7/08/2010 05:50:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
There's a story of about a lawyer who only says his prayers once a year ,New Year's Day .The rest of the time he just jumps into bed and says , "DITTO."
7/07/2010 11:16:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Boy-Teacher,I can't do this math problem.
Teacher-Any 10-year-old should be able to do it.
Boy-Well,no wonder I'm 11.
7/06/2010 11:48:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
लड़का-"स्वामीजी,कोई उम्र लम्बी करने की तरकीब बताइये|"
स्वामी-"तुम,शादी कर लो,वत्स|"
लड़का-"शादी करने से,क्या उम्र लम्बी हो जाएगी?"
स्वामी-"नहीं,उम्र लम्बी लगने लगेगी|"
7/05/2010 10:32:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
पत्नी-"कल मेरी माँ आ रही है|"
पति-"क्या तुम्हारे पापा भी साथ आ रहें हैं?"
पत्नी-"क्यों,आपको उनकी याद आ रही है क्या?"
पति-"नहीं,मैं सोच रहा था,अगर वो साथ आते तो मेरी रसोई में कुछ मदद हो जाती|
7/03/2010 09:18:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
बेटा -पापा शादी में दुल्हे को घोड़ी पर क्यों बैठाते है?
पिता बेटा , उसे जान बचाकर भागने का आखिरी मौका दिया जाता है !
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