12/30/2011 08:56:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
garmi ka din tha aur ek machchar bahut pareshaani se baitha tha...thabhi ek saathi machchar wahaan aaya aur poocha... " kyu bhai tum itne pareshaan kyu ho"

pahale machar ne jawaab dia...." dekh yaar kamaal ho raha hai....choohe daani mai chooha.... saabun daani mai saabun aur machchar daani mai aadmi so raha hai...."

12/29/2011 10:41:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.

He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"

"Yes", said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "What's your name?"

"Clarence," said the bird.

"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"

The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."

12/29/2011 10:36:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
How does one astronaut tell another astronaut that he is sorry?

He Apollo-gises.

12/29/2011 10:32:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
My boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful
Well they do say that love is blind !

12/29/2011 02:59:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal

12/27/2011 08:40:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A man was sleeping on his deathbed. The man woke up to see his wife silently praying beside him.
He said, " Martha, I have something to confess to you."
She said, "No dear, save your energy."
He said, "I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven, I cheated on you."
She said, " I know, I poisoned you."

12/26/2011 05:59:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
What did one lab rat say to the other?

I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack.

12/23/2011 08:32:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Rakhi Sawant Railway me Bina
ticket paai gayi...
TC- Ticket?
Rakhi- Mera chehra hi mera ticket
hai....
TC- Fine bharna padega...
Rakhi- Wo kyun?
TC- 1st Class me 3rd class ka ticket
le kar baithi ho na isliye...

12/23/2011 08:18:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »

Dost ki Kabar

Ek aadmi apne dost ki kabar par phool daal raha hota hai.
Aur samne wale kabar mein bhi, ek aadmi apne dost ki kabar par chawal daal raha hota hai.
graveyard
Pehla aadmi doosre se kehta hai, “Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab uthega?”

Doosra aadmi , “Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga.”

12/19/2011 09:09:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.'

'Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed!'
Rate this Religious Joke :

12/17/2011 10:25:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
There were two brothers at aged 12 & 8. They were so naughty and always people comes with complain to their parents. Parents became very fed-up and they have taken them to the mental doctor.
Doctor firstly call 12 years boy and asked him “Tell me where is god?” The boy keep himsilence. Then doctor again with loud voice asked him “Tell me where is God?”.
brothers.jpg
The boy suddenly ran away and went to his home and hide himself in his cloth cupboard.
When another brother saw that he also ran away after him and reached to the home and asked “Brother what doctor asked you and why you ran away?”
The elder brother said, “God is missing and everybody thinking that we did it”
Submitted by: Shafeen Mahmood

12/17/2011 08:39:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Little Radha was practicing the violin in the living room while her father was trying to read in the newspapper.
Violin
The family dog was lying and as the screeching sounds of little Radha’s violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.
The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, “For pity’s sake, can’t you play something the dog doesn’t know?”

12/15/2011 08:20:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
भिखारी: 1 रुपया दे दो, 3 दिन से भूखा हूँ!
संता: 3 दिन से भूखा है तो 1 रुपये का क्या करेगा?
भिखारी: वजन तोलूँगा, कितना घट गया है!

12/09/2011 07:43:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. A man walks into an elevator  presses floor number 1 and goes to work. He comes home from work gets into the elevator and presses number 7. He then walks out of the elevator, and walks up to the 15th floor.Why’d he walk?
A. He’s a midget.

12/08/2011 01:27:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
An eight-year-old boy went into a grocery store and picked out a large box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog," said the grocer. "It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him." But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it. A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer said he was sorry, but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog." "Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him." "Oh? What was it then?" "I think it was the spin cycle!"

12/07/2011 08:02:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Laloo and his wife Rabri were angry with each other and were not talking to each other.
Laloo left a note on Rabri's bedside table, that said: "Dear Wife! Awake me at 5 am tomorrow."
Next morning, Laloo awoke at 8 am and saw a note on his bedside table: "Dear Husband It's 5 O' Clock, get up.

12/05/2011 07:59:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
It was about a month ago when a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest:

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic."

"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."

"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Gulden for every week he stayed."

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."

"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."

"What is that, my son?"

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

12/05/2011 07:57:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?" The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."
  Previous Next

12/02/2011 07:44:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
  A man goes on a 2 month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother.

Brother 1: So how is my cat doing?
Brother 2: He's Dead
Brother 1: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat couldn't you think of a nicer way to tell me! I'm leaving in 3 days you could of broke me the news easier. When I called before I left, you could of told me we found him on the roof and we're having trouble getting him down. Then when I called you from the airport you could of told me the Fire Department was there and scared him off the roof and the cat died when it hit the ground.
Brother 2: I'm sorry ... you're right...that was insensitive I won't let it happen again.
Brother 1: Alright .. Alright, forget about it. Anyway, how's Mom doing?
Brother 2: She's on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down.

12/01/2011 07:33:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Two bone weary public servants were working their little hearts and souls out. Their department was just too busy for staff to be able take flex. But there had to be a way ...

One of the two public servants suddenly lifted his head. "I know how to get some time off work" the man whispered.

"How?" asked the second worker.

Instead of answering, the man quickly looked around. No sign of his Director. He jumped up on his desk, kicked out a couple of ceiling tiles and hoisted himself up. "Look!" he hissed, then swinging his legs over a metal pipe, hung upside down.

Within seconds, the Director emerged from the Branch Head's office at the far end of the floor. He saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he thought he was doing.

"I'm a light bulb" answered the public servant.

"I think you need some time off," barked the Director. "Get out of here - that's an order - and I don't want to see you back here for at least another two days! You understand me?"

"Yes sir", the public servant answered meekly, then jumped down, logged off his computer and left.

The second worker was hot on his heels.

"Where do you think you're going?" the boss asked.

"Home," he said lightly. "I can't work in the dark."

11/29/2011 08:04:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.

11/29/2011 07:59:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."

So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.

Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades ... and to the amazment of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.

His answer to the question: "What chair?"

11/28/2011 08:56:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102.

Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.

The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.

The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out.

You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley.

I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France."

The new man asked, "What happened?"

"One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"

11/22/2011 02:15:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher : OK Bill in this exam you will be allowed 30 minutes for each question.
Bill : How long do i get for the answers...?

11/19/2011 07:28:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
What's a perfect breakfast for a woman?
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

11/19/2011 07:25:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

11/16/2011 07:48:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Richness is not saving more,spending more or earning more.It is the state when you want No More.

11/15/2011 11:42:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
You enter the laboratory and see an experiment. How will you know which class is it?

If it's green and wiggles, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.

11/14/2011 06:04:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A hobo comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, "Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven't had a good meal in several days."

The owner says, "I have made a fortune in my lifetime by supplying goods for people. I've never given anything away for nothing. However, if you go around the back, you will see a gallon of paint and a clean paint brush. If you will paint my porch, I will give you a good meal." 

So the hobo goes around back and a while later he again knocks on the door. The owner says, "Finished already? Good. Come on in. Sit down. The cook will bring your meal right in." 

The hobo says, "Thank you very much, sir. But there's something that I think you should know. It's not a Porsche you got there. It's a BMW."

11/13/2011 10:47:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment.

This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.

The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!"

Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!"

Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.

"Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home.

When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!"

The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird, my foot!"

11/12/2011 10:49:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

11/12/2011 10:46:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Sardar To His Servant: Go And Water The Plants.
Servant: It's Already Raining.
Sardar: So What, Take An Umbrella And Go.

11/10/2011 07:35:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
"Son, where's your homework?" The teacher said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.
"My dog ate it," was his solemn response.
"Son, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?"
"It's true, Teacher, I promise it is," insisted the little boy. "I had to smear it with honey, but I finally got him to eat it."

11/07/2011 08:45:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Three men, a Frenchman, an Italian, and a Jew, were condemned to be executed. Their captors told them that they had the right to have a final meal before the execution. They asked the Frenchman what he wanted.
“Give me some good French wine and French bread,” he requested. So they gave it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him.
Next it was the Italian’s turn. Give me a big plate of pasta,” said the Italian. So they brought it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him.
Now it was the Jew’s turn. “I want a big bowl of strawberries, ” said the Jew.
“Strawberries!!! They aren’t even in season!”
No problem,I will wait.

11/06/2011 10:36:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Children and Kids Jokes

My marble

Two boys were playing marble and suddenly rushed to the hospital.
Smaller boy told to the doctor, “I have swallowed a marble.”
marbles.jpg
Doctor: “I see, Is this your brother with you?” asked to the older boy.
The other boy replied “No, I own the marble.”

11/04/2011 01:19:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

A Sardar enters shop & shouts, "Where's my free gift with this oil?"
Shopkeeper: "Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab"
Sardar : "Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE!!"

11/04/2011 07:47:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q. What did the penny say to the other penny?
A. We make perfect cents.
Q. Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A. To get to the second hand shop.
Q. Why did the picture go to jail?
A. Because it was framed.

11/03/2011 09:36:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."

"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."

11/03/2011 09:34:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A lonely frog, desperate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store.

His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

11/01/2011 07:14:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
The head priest at a certain church was out for the day, so he asked the deacon to do confession for him.  The deacon agrees, and the first person that comes says, "Forgive me, for I just gave a guy a blow job." He says, "You have sinned."

Then he looks at the sheet on the wall that had punishments for certain sins on it, but blow job was not on there, so he went out to ask one of the altar boys what he usually gives for a blow job. The altar boy answered, "Oh, about five dollars."

10/31/2011 09:40:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you".
The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"

10/30/2011 07:18:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »


A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit; she instructed her son – to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at site.
After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy’s phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.
Telephone
She waited impatiently for her husband to return from site, immediately she sighted him, she gave him a very hot slap, while the man was trying to ask why?
She repeated the slap, people from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of this.
The man asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called,
Junior said “the number u are trying to call is not reachable

10/30/2011 07:55:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!"

Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.

As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!"

To which the bird replied, "Killer, get him!!!"

10/30/2011 07:44:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
A Sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C. After Seeing he went to Delhi. Guess why?
The FORM said "FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".

10/29/2011 01:58:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

10/25/2011 09:13:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business.
As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tell me you were a banker?"
The young man answered, "Yes, I did."
To this the tailor said, "Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?"

10/17/2011 09:45:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
डाक्टर-तुम्हारे दो दांत कैसे टूट गए|
मरीज-सख्त रोटी खाने से|
डाक्टर-बीवी को रोटी खाने से मनaa कर देते|
मरीज-किया था,इसलिए,ये हालत हो गई है|

10/16/2011 11:11:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

10/11/2011 10:51:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Student: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

10/10/2011 08:37:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Patient: doctor, mujhe 3 mahine se khaasi hai.
Doctor: itne din kyu chup the?
Patient: chup kaun tha doctor. main to khaas rahaa tha. 

10/09/2011 10:19:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."

10/04/2011 03:10:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

10/04/2011 03:07:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

10/02/2011 08:21:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

  • Wife to husband: You don't love me at all.
    Husband points towards their 5 children and says, `Do you think I have downloaded them from Google`?

    • 10/02/2011 07:04:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

    The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

    So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

    The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

    They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

    They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

    On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

    There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

    10/01/2011 10:30:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    Wife: Suniye, Kal Mera Birthday Hai Aap Mujhe Kya Gift Doge
    Husband: Tum Batao Tumhe Kya Chahiye, Jo Tum Bolo
    Wife: Mujhe Kuch Special Chahiye..
    Husband: Gold Ki Ring Dila Du…
    Wife: Nahi Kuch Bada Hona Chahiye
    Husband: Toh Phir Ceat Ka Tyre Dila Deta Hoon….

    10/01/2011 08:04:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    A man asked his friend, why Dr Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
    Sardarji replied ”Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM”
    :)
    Rajiv gandhi swarg mein baitha tha achanak tej tej  hansne laga…..!
    Indira gandhi- Kyo hans rahey ho ??
    Rajiv gandhi- Sonia se shaadi maine ki… Lekin Bhugat Manmohan Singh Raha Hai…

    9/28/2011 03:35:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »



    Baniya Marte Waqt… Sunti Ho ? Wife: Bolo, Mein Yahin Ho… Aur Pappu aur Pinki? Yes, Papa Hum Bhi Yahi Hai… Baniya: Toh Paas Ke Kamre Ki Light Aur Fan Toh Band Karke Aatey

    9/27/2011 12:53:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

    Netaji Ne Ek Bacche Ko Bhiksha Maangte Hue Dekha, Netaji Unke Paas gaye Aur Samjhaya, Beta Tumhe School Main Hona Chaiye Tum Yahan Kya Kar rahe Ho.Baccha Bola School Gaya Tha Par Wahan 1 Rs Bhi Bheek nahi Mili.
    Teacher Ne Class Main Kaha, Sab Bacche Angreji Ki VarnMala Sunao, Santa Ne Khade Hokar Poocha Choti Waali Sunaun Ya Badi waali.
    Judge: Isse Pehle Ki Faisla Sunaya Jaaye, Tum Kuch Adalat Main Kehna Chahte Ho.
    Apradhi: Nahi Saahab Aaj Subah Aakhiri Dus Rupaye Bhi Vakil Sahab Ko De Diye.

    9/23/2011 04:54:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    After 2 Year Of Married Life, Some Examples How Wives Fight With Their Husbands….
    Accountant Wife: Apne Hisab Se Raho Samjhe,
    Share Broker Wife: Jyada Bola Na Toh Sauda Kar Dungi Loss Mein,
    Orthopedic Doctor Wife: Kam Bolo, Haddiyan Tod Dungi,
    Piolet Wife: Aaj Kal Jyada Hee Hawa Mein Udd Rahey Ho, Zameen Par Laau Kya Abhi,
    History Teacher Wife: Mujhe Jyada Itihaas Mat Sikhao Samjhe,
    Software Engineer Wife: Abey Pehle Bug Toh Nikal Le, Baad Mein Bahas Karna….

    9/23/2011 08:03:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    Once A Software Engineer Was Smoking In A Public Place
    Old Man Saw Him And Said: You Did’nt See That Board Indicates Warning About “Smoking In Public Places Is Prohibited”
    Software Engineer: Oye Uncle, I Am Software Engineer By Profession And We Only Worry About Bugs & Errors….Not Warnings

    9/22/2011 07:16:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »

    Pappu Ghar Der Se Pahucha Aur Ghar Mein Darte Darte Enter Hua
    Father: Kahan Tha Ab Tak, Itna Late Kaise Hua,
    Pappu: Papa, Friend Ke Ghar Tha,
    Yeh Sun Kar Unhone Sabhi Khaas Doston Ko Phone Laga Diya,
    Friend 1: Ji Uncle Yahi Pe Tha, Just Ghar Ke Liye Nikla Hai,
    Friend 2: Yahi Hai Uncle Toilet Gaya Hai, Baat Karau Kya ?
    Friend 3: Uncle Ji Woh Padh Raha Hai….
    Best Friend: Friend 4: Haan Papa Boliye, Kuch Kaam Tha !!

    Kyunki Har Ek Friend Zaroori Hota Hai

    9/21/2011 06:49:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    A Japanese came to India. He took a AUTO to go to the airport. On d way a HONDA overtakes, Japanese: HONDA made in JAPAN very fast..... Next a TOYOTA overtakes, he said TOYOTA made in JAPAN, very fast. Airport came he asked how much? Driver: 8000Rs Japanese: y so expensive? Driver: METER made in INDIA very fast... -

    9/20/2011 10:45:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

    "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

    The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

    Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

    The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

    The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

    "or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

    The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

    On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

    9/16/2011 09:01:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    Employee-Boss,please increase my salary,I have recently got married.
    Boss-Sorry,the company is not responsible for accidents happening outside the company.

    9/16/2011 04:23:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »


    A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband’s home in a traditional manner.
    She was asked to give a little speech. She addressed as follows:
    “My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family”, she said “Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don’t want you all to change your way of life, your routine.”
    newbride.jpg
    “What do you mean my child?” asked the patriarch of the family.
    What I mean dad is:
    Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.
    Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
    Those who cooked shouldn’t stop on my account.
    Those who used to clean should clean.
    As for me, I am here just to control your son!

    9/14/2011 12:58:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    लालू फ़ुटबॉल मैच देख रहा था|
    अपने P.A से-ये इतने लोग बाल को लात क्यों मार रहे हैं?
    P.A-गोल करने के लिए|
    लालू-बाल तो पहले से ही गोल है,और कितना गोल करेंगे|

    9/14/2011 12:53:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    पति-भागवान,तुमसे शादी करने का एक फायदा हुआ है,मुझे|
    पत्नी-वो क्या?
    पति-मुझे मेरे गुनाहों की सजा जीते जी ही मिल गई|

    9/13/2011 07:43:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    आदमी-हे भगवान,मुझे तरक्की दे दे,मैं तूझे ५०१ का प्रसाद चढाऊँगा|
    भगवान-अरे,कुछ तो शर्म  कर,अन्ना देख रहा है|

    9/12/2011 12:54:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

    Ek pathan Cycle chalate aur gungunate howe kahin ja raha tha rastae mein ek aurat se takra betha.
    Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???”
    cycle
    Pathan herat se… “Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.”

    9/10/2011 08:14:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    एक गधा एक सरदार को लात मारकर भागा|
    सरदार उसके पीछे भागा|
    उसने रास्ते में एक गिर्राफ्फ़देखा|
    सरदार ने उसे एक लात मारी और बोला-साले ट्रैक-सूट पहन कर धोखा देता है|

    9/10/2011 08:00:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    लड़का-आप कहाँ रहती हैं?
    लड़की-M.G road पर|
    लड़का-इतनी अमीर और खूबसूरत होकर भी,रोड पर रहती हैं|

    9/05/2011 05:25:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    Nurse: How old are you?
    Patient: None of your business.
    Nurse: But the doctor must know your age for his records.
    Patient: Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?
    Nurse: Yes. Fifty..
    Patient: All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?
    Nurse: Zero.
    Patient: Right. And that's exactly the chance of me telling you my age

    9/05/2011 12:08:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    पापा-पप्पू,जा पडोसी के घर से मेरे लिए सिरदर्द की गोली मांग ला|
    पप्पू-पापा,वोह नहीं देंगे|
    पापा-मुझे पता है,बड़े कंजूस हैं,चल अलमारी से अपनी दवाई निकाल ले|

    9/05/2011 12:02:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    अनिल की शादी एक नुर्स से हो गई|
    दोस्त-यार,कैसी गुजर रही है?
    अनिल-मत पूछ यार,जब तक सिस्टर न कहूँ,सुनती ही नहीं|

    9/05/2011 11:58:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    मोहन-इंस्पेक्टर साहब,किसी ने मेरे बगीचे में बम रखा हुआ है|
    इंस्पेक्टर-चिंता मत करो,अगर तीन दिन के अंदर किसी ने क्लेम नहीं किया,तो तुम रख लेना|

    9/01/2011 09:29:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    टीचर-नालायक,तुम्हारे कितने भाई-बहन और हैं?
    बच्चा-मैं,अकेला हूँ,मैडम|
    टीचर-शुक्र है भगवान का,नहीं तो वो भी ऐसे ही नालयक होते|

    8/28/2011 03:45:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    Jaat ka dukh:
    Koi aankhon se baat kar leve h
    Koi isaaroon se baat kar leve h
    Par pareshaaniiii toh tabb ho jati h
    Jabb koi chorii english may baat kr leve h ;)

    8/28/2011 03:34:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »


    Naukrani ne malkin se kaha, memsahab gajab ho gaya, pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai.
    Malkin naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chupchap tamasha dekhne lagi.
    quarreling.jpg
    Naukarani ne poocha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi?
    Malkin: Nahi uske liye teen hi kaafi hai.

    8/24/2011 08:53:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    ठेकेदार,मजदूर से-तुम दो-दो इंटें क्यों लेकर जा रहे हो,बाकी मजदूर तो चार-चार इंटें लेकर जा रहे हैं?
    मजदूर-वो कामचोर हैं,दो फेरे लगाने से बच रहें हैं|

    8/24/2011 08:49:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    एक बच्चे की दादी का जन्मदिन था|
    उसने उनको,फुटबॉल तोहफे में दी|
    उसके दोस्त ने पुछा,तेरी दादी को फुटबॉल खेलने का शौक है?
    नहीं,उन्होने भी तो,मेरे जन्मदिन पर,किताबें दी थी|क्या मुझे किताबें पढ़ने का शौक है?बच्चा बोला |

    8/21/2011 04:33:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »


    A car owner taking interview of a driver and finally he told, “OK. you are selected and you will get $ 2000 as starting salary.”
    stratcar.jpg
    The driver answered, “You are great Sir ! For starting if $2000 then for driving how much sir?

    8/19/2011 11:35:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    डाक्टर-फायदा हो रहा है,मेरे इलाज से|
    मरीज-हाँ,पर आपको मेरे इलाज से,ज्यादा फायदा हो रहा है,शायद|

    8/18/2011 09:47:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    पापा-बेटा,इस बार ९०% आने चाहिए,पेपरों में|
    बेटा-मैं  १००% लाकर दिखाऊंगा|
    पापा-क्यों मज़ाक कर रहा है|
    बेटा-शुरू किसने किया था|

    8/17/2011 04:31:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    एक भक्त ने शिवजी की बहुत तपस्या की|
    शिवजी बहुत प्रसन्न हुए|
    प्रकट होकर बोले-भक्त,जो माँगना है,मांग|
    भक्त-प्रभु,एक गिटार दे दो|
    शिवजी-कुछ और मांगो,मैं बहुत कुछ दे सकता हूँ|
    भक्त-नहीं प्रभु,मुझे तो गिटार ही चाहिए|
    शिवजी-अरे मूर्ख,अगर मेरे पास गिटार होता,तो क्या मैं डमरू बजाता फिरता|

    8/17/2011 04:19:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    एक पागल-मैं दुनिया को मिटा दूंगा,मिटा दूंगा......
    दूसरा पागल-मैं तूझे रब्बर दूंगा तब न|

    8/15/2011 02:50:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    Marriage is a three ring-circus
    Engagement Ring
    Wedding Ring
    And the rest of the life-Suffering.

    8/14/2011 10:56:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    पत्नी-आपने कार की स्पीड क्यों बढ़ा दी?
    पति-कार की ब्रेक फेल हो गई है,इसलिए जल्द से जल्द घर पहुंचना चाहता हूँ|

    8/12/2011 01:01:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    महिला चप्पल खरीदने के बाद,दुकानदार से कैलेंडर गिफ्ट मांगने लगी|
    दुकानदार-कल चप्पल की रसीद दिखाकर,गिफ्ट ले जाना|
    महिला-अगर रसीद खो गई,तो  चप्पल दिखाकर  गिफ्ट ले जाऊंगी|

    8/09/2011 12:02:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    होटल मे खाना खाते हुए-
    customer-waiter,दाल में बार-बार कंकड आ रहें हैं|
    waiter-ध्यान  से देखो,दाल के दाने कंकडों से ज्यादा हैं|

    8/07/2011 10:07:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    भिखारी-मांजी,भूख लगी है,खाना दे दो|
    मांजी-बाद में आना,अभी खाना तैयार नहीं हुआ|
    भिखारी-मेरा मोबाइल नंबर ले लो,जब खाना तैयार हो जाए तो मिस्सड कॉल दे देना|

    8/06/2011 07:44:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    पार्टी में एक आदमी-बहनजी,ये आपका बेटा है,जो मेरे कपड़ों पर रेत डाल रहा है?
    महिला-वह मेरा भतीजा है,मेरे बेटा तो आपके जूतों में पानी भर रहा है|

    8/05/2011 01:17:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    हवा और छात्र में क्या अंतर है?
    दोनों ही बिना पढ़े किताब के पन्ने पलटते हैं|

    8/03/2011 10:46:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    पति पत्नी से-तुम्हे पता है,सावित्री यमराज से अपने पति को वापिस ले आई थी|
    पत्नी-इसका मतलब,भगवान भी,पतियों को उनकी पत्नियों से नहीं बचा सकते|

    8/03/2011 10:42:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    टीचर-पप्पू,दस फलों के नाम बताओ|
    पप्पू-पांच अमरुद और पांच सेब|

    7/31/2011 02:19:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    ज्योतिषी-अगर खुशहाल जिंदगी जीनी है ,तो ३६ साल की औरत से शादी कर लो|
    भक्त-महराज,१८-१८ की दो नहीं चलेंगीं?

    7/30/2011 12:59:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    पापा-अनु,आज मुझे तुम्हारा टीचर का letter मिला है|
    अनु-आप बेफिक्र रहें,मैं मम्मी को नहीं बताऊंगी|

    7/30/2011 12:55:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    पप्पू-हमारे कुत्ते ने मेरी किताब खा ली|
    दोस्त-उसे मेरे पास ले आओ,मैं उसे सजा दूंगा|
    पप्पू-सजा तो मैंने उसे दी,उसकी कटोरी का सारा दूध मैं पी गया|

    7/27/2011 11:05:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    टीचर-Newton law बताओ|
    बच्चा-मुझे पूरा नहीं आता,बस लास्ट का आता है|
    टीचर-जितना आता है उतना बताओ|
    बच्चा-and this is called NEWTON'S LAW.

    7/27/2011 11:00:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    पत्नी-तुम मुझसे वादा करो की तुम कभी जुआ नहीं खेलोगे|
    पति-पर तुमसे शादी करके भी तो मैं जुआ ही खेलरहा हूँ|

    7/26/2011 08:25:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    लड़का-भाई ये पेन कितने का है?
    दुकानदार-८०० का|
    लड़का-बाप रे|और ये,दूसरा वाला?
    दुकानदार-दो बार बाप रे|

    7/23/2011 08:14:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    बंटीं की गाडी के नीचे एक कुत्ता लेटा था|
    बंटीं ने उसकी पूँछ पकरकर खींची और बोला-चल बाहर निकल,बड़ा आया automobile engineer|

    7/22/2011 09:10:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    Teacher-Anu,what is the difference between,Senior and Junior?
    ANU-SENIOR MEANS,NEAR THE SEA,AND JUNIOR MEANS NEAR THE ZOO.

    7/21/2011 07:49:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    What is the difference between-A husband and a chewing-gum.
    Both are sweet and nice in the beginning,
    But,
    Both become,tasteless,shapeless and chipkoo in the end.

    7/19/2011 08:54:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    पति-अनीता,आज खाना तुम्हारी माँ ने बनाया है क्या?
    अनीता-तुम्हे कैसे पता चला?
    पति-पहले खाने में काले बाल मिलते थे,आज सफ़ेद बाल मिला है|

    7/19/2011 08:50:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    एक कैदी को फांसी होने वाली थी|
    उससे उसकी आखरी ख्वाहिश पूछी गई|
    वह बोला-मुझे अपनी साली से मिलना है|
    जज ने पुछा-साली से क्यों,माँ-बाप से क्यों नहीं?
    कैदी बोला-अगला जन्म,लेते ही माँ-बाप तो मिल जाएंगे,पर साली न जाने कितने जन्म बाद मिलेगी|

    7/18/2011 10:24:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    मालिक-रामू,मेरी रोटी पर इतना घी क्यों लगा दिया?
    रामू-लगता है,मैंने गलती से अपनी रोटी आपको दे दी है|

    7/16/2011 10:31:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    संता की बीवी मर गई|
    उसका दोस्त उसे चुप करवाने के बाद बोला,किसी चीज़ की जरूरत है तो बता?
    संता-Laptop,ला दे|
    दोस्त-क्यों?
    संता-फेसबुक पर status change करके,सिंगल करना है|

    7/16/2011 09:33:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    १ अप्रैल को एक आदमी बस में बैठता है|
    टिकेट लेलो,conductor ने कहा|
    उस आदमी ने टिकेट ले लिया,और साथ बैठे बंदे से बोला,मैंने conductor को अप्रैल फूल बनाया,मेरे पास तो,बस का पास है|

    7/12/2011 11:36:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    एक सरदार ने फोन घुमाया,और पुछा-हेलो,आप कौन बोल रहें हैं?
    उधर  से आवाज़ आई-मैं,बोल रहा हूँ|
    सरदार बोला-कमाल है,इधर भी मैं बोल रहा हूँ|शायद मैंने खुद को ही फोन लगा लिया है|

    7/12/2011 08:01:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    एक बार एक चोर ने अपनी मंगेतर को एक सोने का सेट दिया|
    मंगेतर -कितने का पड़ा?
    चोर-तीन साल कैद|

    7/12/2011 07:55:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    संता रसोई में ज़ाकर चीनी का डिब्बा खोलकर कुछ देख रहा होता है||
    उसकी बीवी पूछती है,ये क्या कर रहे हो?
     संता-मुझे शुगर हो गई है,डाक्टर ने बार-बार शुगर लेवल चेक करने के लिए कहा है|

    7/11/2011 10:19:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    gautam-mummy,mere haath se seeri fisal gayi|
    mummy-koi baat nahin,papa utha dengen|
    gautam-papa kya uthaaenge,wo to khud pankhe se latke huae hain|

    7/11/2011 07:57:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    Manmohan Singh goes to the dentist.The dentist asks him to open his mouth.But he doesn't.
    Dentist-Please do not keep mum,atleast open your mouth in front of me,

    7/10/2011 01:16:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    Teacher-Anil,what happened in 1869?
    Anil-Mahatma Gandhi was born.
    Teacher-What happened in 1874?
    Anil-Mahatma Gandhi was 5 years old.

    7/09/2011 10:23:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    A beggar goes to a minister,and tells him that he wants to become a minister.
    The minister asks him-Are you mad?
    Beggar-What other qualifications are needed to become a minister?

    7/05/2011 11:11:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
    बच्चा-मैडम,मुझे फटाफट अंग्रेजी बोलनी आती है|
    मैडम-बोल के दिखा|
    बच्चा-अंग्रेजी,अंग्रेजी,अंग्रेजी,अंग्रेजी.......

    7/04/2011 03:20:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
    रोहन बैंक में पैसे जमा करने गया|
    cashier-दूसरा नोट दो,ये फटा है|
    रोहन-तुम्हे इससे क्या,जमा तो मेरे अकाउंट में होने हैं|
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