3/29/2012 09:24:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
what so funny hahahahahahahaha !!!!!
3/29/2012 09:12:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A Sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C.
After seeing the form he had gone to Delhi for filling it up.
You know why?
Form said: “Fill Up In Capital”.
After seeing the form he had gone to Delhi for filling it up.
You know why?
Form said: “Fill Up In Capital”.
3/29/2012 09:10:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Pandit : Tumhare jeevan mein 6 ladkiya aayengi.
Thambu : Wow, kya baat hai.
Pandit: Zyada khush honey ki baat nahi hai. Ek gharwali aur 5 betiya hai..
Thambu : Wow, kya baat hai.
Pandit: Zyada khush honey ki baat nahi hai. Ek gharwali aur 5 betiya hai..
3/29/2012 09:08:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Judge: You are charged with throwing your mother-in-law out of your fourth-story window.
Banta: I did it without thinking, your Honor.
Judge: Thats no excuse! Don’t you see how dangerous it might have been for anyone passing by at the time?
Banta: I did it without thinking, your Honor.
Judge: Thats no excuse! Don’t you see how dangerous it might have been for anyone passing by at the time?
3/28/2012 04:56:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.
Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.
3/28/2012 04:54:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Hubby : Darling years ago you had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife : Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it is 1.5ltr.
3/28/2012 04:52:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek sardar doosre se keh raha hai ke “Maine machcharo ko ullu banaya !”
Second Sardar: “Kaise?“
First says: Maine mosquito coil mere bajuke room mein lagaya aur main apne room mein soya. ha ha ha ha…..
3/26/2012 02:25:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride.
While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head no, and mumble a reply.
Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would then ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"
While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head no, and mumble a reply.
Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would then ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"
3/25/2012 09:22:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Chota Santa stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the Sabji wala:
10 kilo sugar at Rs 1.25 a kilo
4 kilo coffee at Rs1.50 a kilo
2 kilo butter at Rs1.10 a kilo
2 bars soap at Rs0.83 each
4 kilo coffee at Rs1.50 a kilo
2 kilo butter at Rs1.10 a kilo
2 bars soap at Rs0.83 each
“How much does that come to?” asked Larry.
“Twenty-two rupees and thirty-six paisa.”
“If I gave you three ten rupee bills, how much change would I get?” said Chota Santa.
“Seven rupees and sixty-four paisa,” stated the Sabji wala who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.
Chota Santa said, as he disappeared through the door, “Mujhe ye sab nahi kharid ne ka he.. mujhe to bas apne kal ke math homework ka an“
3/24/2012 08:22:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
An infant rabbit was orphaned. Fortunately though, a family of squirrels took it in and raised it as if it were one of their own. This led to some strange behaviors on the part of the rabbit, including a tendency for it to avoid jumping, but instead to run around like the other squirrels. One day the rabbit was really feeling sad, so it went to its step-parents to discuss the problem. After explaining to them how it felt different from its step-siblings, they gave him a big hug and said, “Don’t scurry, be hoppy.”
3/23/2012 10:58:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Telling A Lie Is:
A Fault Of A Child
An Art Of A Lover
An Accomplishment Of A Bachelor
&
A Matter Of Survival Of A Married Man…!
An Art Of A Lover
An Accomplishment Of A Bachelor
&
A Matter Of Survival Of A Married Man…!
3/23/2012 07:54:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Q: What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.
A: A swimming race.
Q: What kind of fish can't swim?
A: A dead one.
A: A dead one.
Q: What kind of stroke can you use on toast?
A: BUTTER-fly!
A: BUTTER-fly!
Q: Why did the Boston swimmer with the sore throat try to swallow his TYRs?
A: Because the doctor told him to GOGGLE with salt water!
Q. Why can male elephants swim whenever they want?
A. They always have trunks with them!
3/21/2012 10:27:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Jo maza pakistan ki haar me
Na ishq me na pyar me
Na Motor me na car me
Na Dil me na dildar me
Jo maza pakistan ki haar me
... ...
Na Ghar me na bazar me
Na Bagh me na bahar me
Na 7 samander par me
Jo maza pakistan ki haar me
Na Aam me na anar me
Na Chatni na achar me
Na hichki na dakar me
Jo maza Pakistan ki haar me
Na Tape na V.C.R me
Na sur me na taal me
Na payal ki jankar me
Jo maza Pakistan ki haar me....
Na ishq me na pyar me
Na Motor me na car me
Na Dil me na dildar me
Jo maza pakistan ki haar me
... ...
Na Ghar me na bazar me
Na Bagh me na bahar me
Na 7 samander par me
Jo maza pakistan ki haar me
Na Aam me na anar me
Na Chatni na achar me
Na hichki na dakar me
Jo maza Pakistan ki haar me
Na Tape na V.C.R me
Na sur me na taal me
Na payal ki jankar me
Jo maza Pakistan ki haar me....
3/21/2012 07:58:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
What's the difference between a viola and an onion?
No one cries when you cut up a viola.
No one cries when you cut up a viola.
3/21/2012 07:57:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
The bus driver announces that smoking is prohibited and punishable by a fine of several hundred dollars.
Suddenly, a baby starts crying.
"Come on kid," the bus driver said "you're only 6 months old, you can make it without a cigarette."
Suddenly, a baby starts crying.
"Come on kid," the bus driver said "you're only 6 months old, you can make it without a cigarette."
3/20/2012 06:52:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!" The farmer looked puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"
3/19/2012 08:20:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.
He looks up in the sky and says, "Is that the sun or the moon?"
The other drunk man answers, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."
He looks up in the sky and says, "Is that the sun or the moon?"
The other drunk man answers, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."
3/19/2012 04:41:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A monster went to the doctor with a branch growing out of his head. "Hmmm," said the doctor. "I've no idea what it is." The next week the branch was covered in leaves and blossom. "I'm stumped," said the doctor, "but you can try taking these pills." When the monster came back a month later the branch had grown into a tree, and just a few weeks later he developed a small pond, surrounded by trees and bushes, all of them on top of his head. "Ah!" said the doctor, "I know what it is. You've got a beauty spot."
3/18/2012 01:54:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?
The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.
The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.
3/17/2012 10:14:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the toilet.
He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, “I have sipt in this beer, do not drink!”.
After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, “So did I!”
He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, “I have sipt in this beer, do not drink!”.
After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, “So did I!”
3/17/2012 10:13:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Daughter told to her mother, “Right now I have seen a healthy white big cat went out from our kitchen”
Mother told, ” It is good sign and fortune to see a white big cat.”
Daughter replied, “Yes fortune is that it has eaten all of your foods.”
Mother told, ” It is good sign and fortune to see a white big cat.”
Daughter replied, “Yes fortune is that it has eaten all of your foods.”
3/17/2012 10:11:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Banta Singh : “Yaar Santa, last year the name plate outside your house read Santa Singh, B.A. This year it reads Santa Singh, M.A.When did you finish your Masters Degree?”
Santa Singh : You don’t understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate “Bachelor Again”. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is “Married Again”.
Santa Singh : You don’t understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate “Bachelor Again”. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is “Married Again”.
3/15/2012 03:00:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek 10 saal ka bachha bahot dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: “Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare”.
Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.
Kid: Main yeh dekhna chahta hoon ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.
Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.
Kid: Main yeh dekhna chahta hoon ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.
3/15/2012 02:59:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Salesman told to a Customer,”Sir this PC will cut your work load by 50%.”
Then the customer told, “That is great! O.K. I will buy two of them.”
Then the customer told, “That is great! O.K. I will buy two of them.”
3/15/2012 02:58:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Santa and banta jungle mein, saamne aayaa sher…
Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki, aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa.
Santa : Main kyun bhaagu, matthi to tune phenki hai.
Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki, aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa.
Santa : Main kyun bhaagu, matthi to tune phenki hai.
3/15/2012 02:56:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Sardar : 13th October
Interviewer: Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu — EVERY YEAR
Sardar : 13th October
Interviewer: Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu — EVERY YEAR
3/15/2012 02:54:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek aadmi bada dukhi tha!
Ek dost ne uss se poocha, “Kyu, tension mein ho.”
Aadmi: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 2 lakh rupeey diye thay, ab saale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon!
Ek dost ne uss se poocha, “Kyu, tension mein ho.”
Aadmi: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 2 lakh rupeey diye thay, ab saale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon!
3/09/2012 08:03:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Dog: "Roof!"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Dog: "Rough!"
Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"
Dog: "Ruth!"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"a
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Dog: "Roof!"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Dog: "Rough!"
Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"
Dog: "Ruth!"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"a
3/06/2012 11:56:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A minister was asked to dinner by one of his church members. He knew she was a bad housekeeper but agreed. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.
She replied,"They're as clean as soap and water could get them". He felt a bit uncomfortable, but blessed the food anyway and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so, despite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yelled, "Here Soap! Here Water!"
3/04/2012 08:15:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
One day a parrot walked up to the counter inside a convenience store. The parrot said to the clerk "Got any grapes?"
"No" replied the store clerk. The parrot smiled and walked out the door. A little while later the parrot returned and asked "Got any grapes?" The clerk replied "No! I already told you 15 minutes ago, i don't have any grapes!"
The parrot smiled and once again walked out of the store. Ten minutes later, the parrot returned and asked once again "Got any grapes?" The irate clerk yelled "No! We didn't have any, we don't have any and we're not going to have any! If you come back in here again, i'm going to nail your feet to the floor!" The parrot smiled and walked out the door. Later that day the parrot returned and asked "Got any nails?" The clerk said "NO!". The parrot replied "Good. Got any grapes?"3/03/2012 08:26:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
CHARLOTTE: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
CHARLOTTE: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
CHARLOTTE: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.
CHARLOTTE: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
CHARLOTTE: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
CHARLOTTE: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.
3/01/2012 03:03:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Little Preeto came running into the house after school one day, shouting, “Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!”
“That’s great, sweetheart,” said her daddy. “Come in to the living room and tell me about it.”
“Well,” said Preeto, “I got 50 in spelling, 30 in Maths and 20 in Science.”
“That’s great, sweetheart,” said her daddy. “Come in to the living room and tell me about it.”
“Well,” said Preeto, “I got 50 in spelling, 30 in Maths and 20 in Science.”
3/01/2012 02:58:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
A man runs into his house and says to his wife, “Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!”
His wife replies, “Pack my bags? For the beach or for the mountains?”
The husband says, “I don’t care! Pack your bags and get the hell Outta my house!”
His wife replies, “Pack my bags? For the beach or for the mountains?”
The husband says, “I don’t care! Pack your bags and get the hell Outta my house!”
3/01/2012 02:55:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Ek sardar subah subah jogging karne ke liye nikla apne kutte ke sath.
Rudra: Oye yeh subah subah gadhe ke saath kaha jaa rahe ho?
Sardar: Oye yeh gadha nahi kutta hai.
Rudra: Oye main kutte se hi pochh raha hoon
Rudra: Oye yeh subah subah gadhe ke saath kaha jaa rahe ho?
Sardar: Oye yeh gadha nahi kutta hai.
Rudra: Oye main kutte se hi pochh raha hoon
3/01/2012 02:53:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin and said, “For best results put on two coats.”
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin and said, “For best results put on two coats.”
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